Only fools Fly
by fallfromreality
Summary: When Thor brings Loki down to earth as punishment, the Avengers are reassembled, but Steve feels like the odd one out. When the team saves him, he finds himself getting close to the resident genius and Thor outcast brother. Will the team be able to survive everything? Or will the stain break them?
1. Chapter 1

**When Thor brings Loki down to earth as punishment, thus bringing the Avengers together again, Steve feels like the odd one out. When the team has to save him, he finds himself getting close to the resident genius and Thor outcast brother. **

Steve jolted awake covered in a fine sheen of sweat, despite the fact he was freezing. Even the warm summer breeze coming through the window of the small hotel room did nothing to sooth him, and he could barely stifle the urge to shiver. He wanted to get up and run, to escape the horrid torrent of dreams that haunted him every night.

Steve hadn't had a full night's rest since SHIELD pulled him out of the ice all those months ago, and it was starting to take a toll on him physically and mentally.

He sighed, sitting back against the headboard, brushing his hands against his face in an attempt to wipe away the memories of Peggy, Bucky, and the icy cold darkness he'd been trapped in all those years. Instead, all he managed to accomplish was wiping a few beads of sweat away from his eyes.

Steve was used to feeling helpless, before the serum he'd been ninety pounds soaking wet and helplessness was his entire world. Not that that ever stopped him from taking on guys twice his size but back then he always knew Bucky would be there for him. But he didn't have Bucky anymore.

No, he was alone in this new world, and loneliness was something relatively new to him.

It didn't help that deep down he knew he didn't belong here, and he was pretty sure that his fellow Avengers and SHIELD knew it too. That was why after the incident in New York, when they'd parted ways, he'd taken off to tour the country. At least that's what he told Fury, and it wasn't exactly a lie, he just needed to see if he knew this place anymore.

He also hoped to find somewhere he belonged, like he used to belong with Bucky and the Howling Commandoes. Now that his trip was almost over, he couldn't help but feel more alone than when he'd first left.

He'd started on the East Coast, and went from there, just him and his motorcycle taking it all in. He found that the core spirit of the American people hadn't changed as much as he'd thought, and much to his surprise people seemed to know who he was everywhere he went.

They all seemed to appreciate what he'd done for the country; he got free meals and easy smiles, though he always made sure to tip more than enough to cover cost of the meal. Sometimes people even offered to let him stay in their homes, but he graciously declined. He didn't like the idea of imposing on anyone.

It became common place for mayors and governors to ask him to speak at events or to meet with people. He generally accepted, he figured it was the least he could do considering how kind people had been to him.

A few time's people had even given him tokens of appreciation, snacks for the roads, and even old memorabilia from WWII. For a few moments, Steve found that these events alleviated his pain, and gave him a sense of momentary connection to this new time.

Despite all that, there were shadows lurking everywhere he went, technology that went right over his head, jokes and references he wasn't sure he'd ever understand, and behavior that shocked him straight to the core.

All these things formed a barrier between him and the people he used to feel so close too. It was as if he was watching them all through the window as he drove by, and that hurt more than words could ever express.

He'd been so sure that by doing this he would be able to find himself again, to uncover all those things that Captain America stood for and all the things he thought he'd given his life for.

The disappointment was earth-shattering.

He couldn't deny he was a man out of time, and sometimes he couldn't help but wish he'd remained a "capsicle" as Tony had so kindly put it.

With a resolute shake of his head, Steve pushed the blankets off his body, and forced himself to get out of bed. He'd spent enough time wallowing in self-pity.

If Bucky could see him now; he'd be ashamed of him, the kid from Brooklyn who never gave up even when the odds were stacked against him. He'd tell Steve to pull his act together, and keep looking until he found what he was searching for.

Filled with a renewed vigor, he grabbed a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a flannel button up out of his duffle bag and headed into the bathroom to shower.

After he was finished, he stopped to look at himself in the mirror; it was still strange seeing himself because he always expected to see that scrawny kid from Brooklyn staring back at him. Instead he was greeted by Captain America, the buff, sculpted and haunted hero he'd become with the help of Dr. Erskine.

With one last sigh Steve strode out of the bathroom, throwing his old clothes into his bag, and hoisting it up over his shoulder. He grabbed the room key off the small bedside table, his eyes roaming the room for anything left behind.

"Thank you for staying with us, Captain Rogers. It was a pleasure having you. Should you ever find yourself in the area again, you know where to find us." The bubbly check-out clerk belted out, bending over the counter, her big green eyes roaming over his body.

"Thank you Ma'am." Steve replied flashing her one of his award winning smiles, "Have a nice day, and take care."

The girl practically swooned, "Thank you, Captain, hope to see you soon." She threw him a wink as he turned to leave, causing a small flush to color his cheeks.

Dames in this time were just so…so flirtatious, it made him rather uncomfortable. Just last week, he had a woman throw her under-garments at him, and another flash her chest at him. He derailed that train of thought as he stepped out of the hotel lobby and into the warm California morning, walking across the parking lot towards his motorcycle.

Boy, was she a beauty, a classic 1940's Harley Davidson with leather seats, and a red, white, and blue finish. Every part of her glittered, speaking to the love Steve put into the every inch of her. How could he not? She was one of the very few connections he still had to his own time, and he would never neglect her.

With once last appreciative glance at her, he climbed onto her seat, and tossed his bag on the seat behind him. Then with a roar he was off on the road again, letting his tires eat away at the miles, until the scenery was a blur and the crushing nightmares were miles behind him. God bless the wind on his face, and the engine underneath him, there was nothing that could ever replace this feeling in his book.

He'd been driving for some time now, just him and his bike on some random back-road he'd turned off on, when he heard something a few miles off that appeared a bit out of a place. The familiar whirl of an S.H.I.E.L.D. issue quinjet set his teeth on edge, and without further ado he slowed his bike to a stop and turned to face the incoming jet.

Guess expecting more than six months without some kind of incident was asking a little too much from the universe. And he would be lying if he tried to say he was surprised that Fury had eyes on him from the start. He barely knew the guy but he knew enough about him to know that if Fury hadn't been watching him something was up.

He raised his hand to wave just as the jet flew over-top of him, and a rope shot down from above. Followed rather quickly by one red headed assassin, who happened to be a former…or was it current teammate of his? Not that it really matter, and before he could finish that thought she was draped across the back of his motorcycle.

"Long time no see, Captain."

"What's the situation, Ma'am?" Steve asked, immediately switching into full Cap mode, he could catch up with her later. If they had time.

"I'll explain on the way, but right now we need to get you up there." She replied, her green eyes sparkling. "Oh, before I forget, don't call me Ma'am, its Natasha or Black Widow to you."

"Ma'-I mean, Natasha, how exactly do you intend to get me up there? Because, no disrespect meant, but I'm not leaving without my motorcycle," Steve did his best to keep his voice as polite as possible, he'd been raised to treat women with respect, and he wasn't about to let that change.

Black Widow just smirked and, as if answering his question, two industrial sized ropes fell down, a cargo hook hung at the end of each one.

"Guess that answers that," Steve said, ignoring the faint look of satisfaction lingering on Natasha's face. She seemed to enjoy knowing things other people didn't just a little too much.

"Alright, Captain, in a few seconds you and I are going to head up," She paused, grabbing the hooks and carefully fastening them to the motorcycle. "Here we go."

Steve felt a little jolt as they were lifted off the ground, the helicopter taking off in the general direction of New York, "Ma'-Bla-Natasha," he fumbled around with what he should call her, before settling on the safest bet: her name, "Natasha, does S.H.I.E.L.D. always think of everything?"

"It's what we do, Captain."

Steve couldn't argue with that statement, because, aside from the Council almost bombing New York city, Fury was on-top of everything.

The quinjet continued on its way, heading towards the East Coast, with Steve and Natasha dangling beneath its underbelly while they made the slow ascent upwards.

A few minutes later, Hawkeye was reaching his hand down to pull Steve into the bed of the helicopter along with Natasha-who in the time it took for Steve to get into the jet, had made her way to a seat, buckled up, and pulled out one of those mini-communication devices that Tony called I-cells or Cellular something or the other. Either way, Steve had to admit that, just like Peggy, Natasha got down to business without delay.

"How you been, spangles?" Clint asked, buckling himself into the seat next to Natasha, and gesturing for Steve to take the one across from them. "If I'm to go off your various fan-pages you've been roaming the country breaking hearts, inspiring the average _Joe_, and sleeping with every pretty lady that throws her undies at you."

Steve just groaned, flushing a deep red, apparently everyone had heard about the various pantie incidents, "Fan-pages?" He asked before shaking his head, "Never mind, I don't want to know. Anyway, I'm not sure about most of those, but I can tell you I haven't slept with any of the dames who've gifted me with their undergarments."

"But you have slept with the others, I see, Cap here's updating his way of thinking," Clint retorted, a mischievous smirk pulling at his lips. He and Tony must have been spending a lot of time together while he was gone, because they were like two peas in a pod now.

"No, I-I would never," He paused, catching the half-hidden up-turning of Natasha's lips; she was pretending to ignore their conversation, "Women deserve more respect than that, and I would never sleep with some random woman." He finished, trying to fight back the growing blush on his cheeks.

"Whatever you say, Cap. I'm sure we can find you a real woman to get you up to date."

Steve turned his head away from the two assassins, "I had a real woman, Hawkeye, but she's gone." The playful mood between them disintegrated.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up," Clint muttered, glancing between his feet, the Caps face, and the disappointed look Natasha was shooting him.

Steve forced a smile onto his face, and faced Clint again, "You couldn't have known, you were just pulling my leg. I didn't mean to ruin the mood," He trailed off, shifting his gaze to the metal wall of the copter, "So, anyone want to fill me in on the current situation?"

Natasha put down her phone, speaking before Clint could even open his mouth. "Thor is bringing Loki to New York City. Apparently his punishment is temporary banishment to Midgard," She paused glaring at Clint, who looked about ready to burst, his brown eyes overflowing with anger.

"As I was saying," She continued sending Clint a glare that could have stopped a herd of stampeding elephants in its tracks, "Thor has assured us that his magic is gone until further notice, and he's about as harmful as a newborn kitten."

Steve looked at them incredulously, "Am I the only one here who thinks Loki is trying to pull the wool over our eyes?"

"No, Captain. You're not alone." Clint replied, coughing awkwardly to try to cover up a laugh.

"I would think out of all of us, you'd be the last one to find this situation funny, Clint." Steve questioned, glancing at the man with wide eyes, his head tilted slightly to the left, and a question hanging off his lips.

Clint immediately sobered up, "It wasn't the situation, Cap, its just…people don't talk like that anymore," Clint frowned when he noticed the downcast looks that flashed across Steve's face, "It's a good thing, Cap, I promise, it just caught me by surprise. Anyways, back to the topic at hand, what are we going to do about the whole Loki thing? Thor basically told us Loki was coming no matter what we said. Fury thinks it'd be better to have him where we can see him, instead of letting him wonder around getting into who knows what. I happen to agree with him."

Steve nodded, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his right hand, "I can't disagree with that one, but I'm interested to see if his time in Asgard has given Loki time to think."

This time Natasha replied, her cool voice flowed in the air between them, "Thor is adamant that his brother is on his way to changing and that being around such 'Valiant Companions' will give him the final push he needs."

"Somehow I doubt Loki considers us 'Valiant Companions'," Clint interjected, the smirk returning to his face.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey Guys,

First thing first, I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed, and /or favorite, or followed the story! It's always great to hear feedback and I love it when people take the time to do those simple things. Really makes a girl feel special 3

Oh, and for anyone who has read the first chapter previously, I did make a few small changes to both the chapter, and the summary. None of them were pivotal changes, they were just a few added sentences, and a few grammatical/spelling/structural changes. So, you can look at them if you'd like but you won't be missing anything huge if you don't. Just wanted to let you guys know.

Aside from that, there's just the normal, I don't own The Avengers or anything associated with it (but, boy, do I wish that I did!) and that's pretty much it.

Love you guys! Hope you all like this chapter!

* * *

Lightning flashed in the distance, thunder answering its call with booms that shook the very ground they stood on. A vibrant aurora of lights wove in and out of the clouds, before the veil of clouds flowed away revealing a large chunk of the night sky. When Steve looked up he realized that none of the stars were familiar to him, a sure sign that they'd arrived right on time.

_Thor will be arriving momentarily,_ he guessed, planting his feet firmly in the ground, he'd heard they should expect a strong wind storm to accompany his interplanetary travel.

He looked over at Natasha and Clint, who were flanking his sides, gauging their reactions to the winds now whipping around them. Natasha looked as calm and collected as usual, her face a mask void of all emotions. Clint on the other hand was noticeably tense, his lips forming a tight line, his eyebrows scrunched together.

Steve felt for Clint, he could only imagine someone trying to bring Red-Skull back, even if they promised he was a reformed man. He would only ever be able to remember what he had done to him and those he loved.

Clint had been Loki's personal puppet, forced to not only kill fellow agents, attack SHIELD and aide Loki in taking over the world. But he'd been made to attack the only woman he trusted, his best friend, confident and partner, Natasha. The fact that he was holding himself together, spoke volumes to his self-control.

He turned his face away from his teammate just in time to catch a glimpse of one Tony Stark, striding confidently towards their small group.

"I didn't miss the whole dog and pony show, did I?" Something about his cocky tone, and easy smirk set Steve on edge.

"Nope, you got here just in time, Stark." Steve found himself replying, almost before his brain caught up with his mouth.

"Ah, Captain, it's been a while," He paused, a satisfied smirk clawing it was onto his features, "I heard all about your _escapades_ around our little country. I'm surprised there haven't been any baby mommas yet. I mean who wouldn't want to get a piece of that hot little star-spangled ass?"

Steve sighed, his mouth settling into a firm line, "Where do people keep hearing these stupid rumors?"

Tony just laughed, "I may or may not have set up a fan page for you, and I might have updated said fan-page frequently with stories of the many panties you were dropping across the good'ol USA."

"Are you serious?" Steve asked. He may not be entirely sure what a fan-page was but he understood the rest of it pretty clearly. Tony _would_ be the one trying to give him some kind of reputation for mistreating and disrespecting the dames.

Before Stark could reply, the winds around them increased until they were almost cutting into them, and a mini-tornado formed in front of them. Then with a brilliant flash of red and muted green, Thor and Loki stood before them.

Thor stood tall, a huge smile breaking out across his face, "Friends, I did not expect you to be here for our arrival, but I am most pleased to find that you here." He boomed, stepping forwards to engulf Steve, Natasha and Clint in a hug, apparently they were much closer than Tony (He'd been a few feet behind them when Thor and Loki arrived).

"It's good to see you too, Thor," Steve replied, though his voice was muffled by the Asgardian's broad chest.

"Thor, I think it's time to let go." Natasha managed to say, and finally their friend released them.

Thor smiled happily in Tony's direction, before moving to the left to reveal his brother, Loki, "Friends, I bring you my most beloved brother, Loki."

Loki stood huddled besides Thor; everything from his clothing to the pale pallor of his skin was listless and flat. The person before them appeared to be nothing like the Loki who had come to earth only a few short months ago.

Before any of them could saying anything, Thor's voice once again boomed through the air, "Odin spoke to me of his wish for Loki to come to this realm, hoping that it would inspire in him a change not unlike the one it created in me. When the all-father requested an able bodied warrior to accompany him, I was the first to volunteer, and so we have come to stay until Loki's punishment is carried out."

"When will that be?" Clint asked, his voice lacking all of its usual humor.

Loki tensed at the sound of Clint's voice, but Thor continued, completely oblivious to Clint's demeanor, "I know not my friend, for until the All-father believes in his heart that Loki has changed, he will not reopen the bridge between our worlds."

"So, in essence you two are stuck here until further notice?" Fury asked. Where on earth he'd come from, Steve had no idea, but then again, it _was_ Fury. That man had an unnerving talent for popping up in random places with little to no warning.

"Yes, as you Midgardians would say, _that is the case_." Thor replied, grabbing his brother by the shoulder and tugging his thin frame against his chest. "Fury, will we once again be residing in the flying ship?"

Fury shot Tony a smirk, "No, Thor, you and you're fellow Avengers will be staying in the Avenger's tower, recently completed by your friend over there." He nodded his head in Tony's direction, and, boy, did Tony look surprised.

"Man of Iron, I must thank you for offering us shelter," Thor cried, stepping forwards to engulf Tony in one of his bone crushing hugs.

"Whoa, hold on a second there, Shakespeare, I didn't exactly volunteer for babysitting duty." He glanced at Bruce, Steve had completely missed Bruce's arrival, but he imagined that he'd come with Tony. Since Tony always made quite the entrance, Steve wasn't too shocked that the quiet scientist had opted to stay in the background. "Except for the jolly green giant over there, he I invited to stay."

Thor released Tony, staring at him blankly, "So we are not welcome in your home, man of Iron?"

Steve had to bite back a chuckle when Tony looked up at Thor's kicked puppy face. Who could resist that look? Apparently not Tony Stark. "It's not that, Thor, I just wasn't expecting to have guests." He finished lamely, sending Fury a hard glare over Thor's shoulder.

This time, when Thor's entire body perked up, and he fixed Tony with that easy grin of his, Steve couldn't help but laugh. It seemed ridiculous that such a fierce warrior, like Thor, wore his emotions so readily on his sleeve.

"Well, now that we've figured out our living arrangements, what are we going to do with _him_?" Clint asked, his steely voice cutting Steve off mid-laugh.

The tension between them suddenly became so tangible it could have been cut with a knife. Steve glanced between Clint and the two Asgardian brothers.

Thor had pushed Loki behind him when he recognized the hostility in Clint's voice, while Clint stood with his entire body tight as a bow string, glaring at the god of lies.

"Brother, it's alright," Loki's voice drifted to the group, his thin hand brushed against Thor's bicep as he stepped out from behind him, "their hesitation is understandable, and I cannot say that I would not do the same if I were in their place. Even now I am a threat, for while I no longer harbor the desire to rule this realm or enslave its people. I have no love for humanity or its Avengers."

Thor glanced at his brother, his deep blue eyes awash with sadness and regret, "Brother, please..."

Loki held up his hand, cutting Thor off, "I am submitting myself to the Avengers custody." Fury stepped forwards, gesturing to the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents behind him, but Loki's voice stopped him dead in his tracks. "Director Fury, I said the Avengers custody not SHIELD's. I have no desire to be placed under your power."

Fury shifted his death-glare on them, as if it was somehow their fault Loki wasn't stupid enough to let S.H.I.E.L.D. handle him. Steve had the idea that Fury wouldn't have thrown him a "Welcome back" party.

"Well, Captain America, what are you and the Avengers going to do with me?" Loki asked, interrupting Steve's thoughts.

He looked up at the God of mischief, his eyes wide, "Why ask me?"

"Are you not their leader?"

Steve thought about it for a moment, glancing at his fellow Avengers to see if anyone wanted to disagree with his statement. He wasn't going to claim the position unless they supported the idea, and to his surprise, with the exception of Tony, the other Avengers didn't appear to have any objections.

Loki apparently took his silence as his answer, and stepped forwards to stand before him, "Shall we?"

"Alright, Stark, do we have your permission to stay in the tower?"

"Well frosty, I don't exactly have a choice, do I?" He bit back, his voice unreasonably (in Steve's opinion) hostile.

"You could always say no if it's too much, Stark."

"I think you have a little too much faith in Fury's perception of freedom, _Captain_." Was Tony's only reply, before he turned around and started walking towards his jet.

Tony turned around to address their rag-tag group, "Are you coming? Or not?"

Steve nodded to the others, "Let's go." Before he followed, he turned to Fury, "We'll be taking our leave, sir, if that's alright with you."

Fury simply nodded, "We'll be meeting you at Stark's place."

Bruce Banner stepped forwards, shooting Steve a small smile, before addressing Fury. "Can I catch a lift, director? I don't think it would be a good idea for me, or the Other guy to travel with the others."

"I think we have an extra seat for you, Dr." Fury replied, gesturing for Bruce to follow him.

Steve looked at their retreating figures one last time, before going to board the jet.

The flight seemed to drag on forever; the awkward tension was stifling in the small enclosed space of the jet. Steve had yet to find a place he could escape it, and quite frankly, it was becoming a pain in his behind.

Clint had chosen the seat directly across from Loki, and aside from the occasional blink had yet to cease glaring at him. The Man of Mischief himself, huddled against his plush leather seat, avoided everyone's gaze, eyes flashing around the jet wildly, like a cornered animal.

Thor had placed himself besides his brother, torn between attempting (and by attempting he meant failing) to comfort his brother, and sending the others desperate puppy eyes begging one of them to step in and get Clint to give it a rest.

Natasha, who was sitting beside Clint, across from Thor, managed to blow off Thor's gaze by staring out of the small window, ignoring everything around her. While Tony sat three seats down from Clint, resting his head against the back of the seat, ignoring them all in favor of the small bud-like devices in his ears.

Steve realized that this left him to be the main receiver of Thor's puppy-dog face, because Bruce Banner had elected to ride with Fury in order to avoid the tense atmosphere in the jet. Steve couldn't blame him, but that didn't mean he didn't wish that he had the quiet scientist there with him.

Thankfully, before Steve gave in to Thor, and was forced to speak with Clint about his behavior, the captain came over the intercom. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we'll be landing in approximately 15 minutes. I recommend that everyone buckles their seatbelt for the remainder of the flight." With that the silence stretched between them once fifteen more minutes of this, Steve thought to himself, shutting his eyes against his surroundings and laying his head back against his seat.

He felt his hands gripping the sides of his seat as the plane began to shift downwards, descending towards the landing strip. The faster they landed, the happier he would be.

"Doing alright there, spangles?" Apparently Tony had decided to take out those weird bud-things and focus on Steve instead.

"I'm fine, Stark." He responded shortly, refusing to glance over at the man in question; he could tell by the condescending tone in his voice that, Tony, was only interested in taunting him.

"I'm sure my leather upholstery will tell a different tale, Capsicle."

Steve looked down, removing his hands from the sides of his seat; low and behold there were two perfect impressions of his hands imprinted in the leather.

"So, I'll ask again, doing alright?"

"Like I told you, Stark, I'm fine," He paused, threading his fingers together, "Landings just make me a little tense is all."

"I never would have guessed," This time Steve glanced up at Stark, "I'm just surprised, you'd think with all the time you spend jumping out of planes you might be a little more comfortable in them."

"When you spend all your time jumping out of them, you never really experience the whole landing part," Steve sighed, "Jumping out was always easier for me." His gaze left Tony's and his mind sucked him back into the memory of the last time he'd been in a 'd ended up trapped in ice for seventy years while everyone he knew lived their lives and died never knowing what happened to him. So, yeah, when he'd woken up in the 21st century he'd discovered his hatred for landing. _Big_ surprise there.

Tony may have replied, but Steve had stopped listening to him, turning his head away from the man and looking out the window for the remainder of the flight. He watched the landscape draw closer and closer.

He sealed his eyes shut when he saw the landing strip approaching, refusing to open them until he felt the tell-tale jolt announcing their landing.

"Thor, I want you and Loki with me. Natasha, Clint, behind us in case our friend," He jerked his head towards Loki, "decides to try something." When he saw Natasha glancing at him, the barest hint of a question in her green eyes, he sighed, "While I doubt Loki is going to try anything, I'd rather be safe than sorry at this point."

Natasha didn't reply, just moved to stand in position.

"Stark, you take the lead, since your people will be picking us up. It would be best if they see you right away, so we can avoid lengthy security protocols and get back to your new Avenger tower."

Natasha, nodding, grabbed Clint by the arm, and pulling him into the isle besides her, so that Thor, Loki, and Steve could get by.

"Captain America, would it please you to have Loki between us?"

"Yes, Thor, that would be the ideal place for him," Steve replied, watching Loki assume a position on his left side, while Thor moved to stand besides Loki. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Natasha and Clint behind him, now he only needed Stark to take the lead.

"Stark, are you coming?" he asked when he realized that Stark hadn't moved out of his seat.

Tony got up, taking his time, popping his back with a satisfied sigh, and wrapping those stupid buds around a little square device with great care.

"Any day now, Stark, the purpose of you going first is so that we can get out of here quickly."

"Alright, alright, let's not get our knickers in a twist there, Captain. I'm coming." Of course, he still managed to meander in front of his seat for another minute or two before he did as he was told and led them out of the jet.

Steve resisted the urge to roll his eyes, when Stark walked out of the jet waving his hands and shouting greetings to the paparazzi who had _somehow_ figured out they were going to be here.

It was like walking into a den of hyenas. "Captain America, care to comment about the known supervillian, Loki, coming back to New York only months after he unleashed a horde of alien invaders on New York City?"

"Thor! Thor! Any comment on your brothers actions?"

"Loki, over here, care to explain your visit?"

"Captain America, boxers or briefs?"

"Tony, how does it feel to be surrounded by Gods, super-soldiers, trained assassins, and the Hulk?"

"Hawkeye, we've heard rumors that Loki controlled you using the Tesseract, any comments on his return?"

The questions started to blend together after a while, they were all fighting to get to the car they could see waiting for them just off the tarmac.

"We have nothing to say at this time, please let us get on our way," Steve shouted over the growing din of voices. Somehow he'd found himself at the front of the group, with Loki at his side. With a sigh, he grabbed Loki's arm and pulled him behind him as he shoved his way through the sea of reporters. He was careful not to hurt any of them, but he wasn't exactly gentle either.

He managed to create a nice little trail for the others to follow, leading them out, and hustling them all to the car. He held the door open for everyone, giving them all a gentle push into the car when they passed by him. Though Steve might have put a little extra strength into it when Tony walked by him to get into the car…it wasn't like the guy didn't deserve it.

Once Tony was in, Steve climbed in behind him, slamming the door in the reporters' faces. Even he couldn't find it in himself to be kind to them after that little adventure.

"Well that was exciting." Tony called, folding his hands behind his neck, "So, tell me, Cap, boxers or briefs?"

Steve had never had the desire to hit the man more than he did at that moment. "Stark, you put us all in danger by alerting the media to Loki's arrival. Who knows who they might have told? The last thing we need is one of our enemies, political or otherwise, finding out that we are all residing in the tower with Loki."

"Captain, live a little, it's not like anything happened."

"But something could have happened, Stark, let alone that you've just painted a huge bulls-eye on the Stark tower. Did you ever stop to consider the fact that there are civilians in that building with us? What if someone decides to attack the tower and one of them gets hurt?"

Steve couldn't help but feel satisfied when he saw a flash of regret in Tony's eyes, though it was quickly replaced by the usual arrogance. "Steve, we're the Avengers, what the worst that could happen?"

Steve didn't answer, because he could think of a lot of "worse" things that could happen.


	3. Chapter 3

To say their journey to Stark's newly renovated Avengers tower was tense would be the understatement of the century. At least that's what Steve would have said, had anyone cared to ask. Not that anyone did.

Clint spent the entire time watching Loki, much like his keep sake the Hawk. He refused to let his eyes even drift away from the Gods huddled figure, completely disregarding the numerous attempts to drag him into a slightly friendlier state of mind.

Natasha sat next to the archer, her cool green eyes flickering between his face, and Loki's sullen form. Yet she still managed to appear poised and collected, only the tiniest iota of worry lurked beneath her facade, but even that could have been a trick of the light.

Tony was probably the only one of them who at first glance appeared totally relaxed, resting against the plush leather cushions, a glass of champagne in one hand and his "phone" in the other.

But Steve was able to pick up the slightest hints of tension in the billionaire's shoulders and the slight crinkle of the skin around his eyes.

Thor, of course, was shooting Clint a questioning glance, but there was an underlying threat there. Steve knew that despite everything, Thor loved his brother and wouldn't put up with Clint's behavior for very long. Especially if he believed, as he did, that Loki was trying to change.

The man of Mischief himself -Steve refused to call him a god-, surprised him the most, he hadn't said a single word since they left the airport. Instead he shrank against the leather cushions, as though he could hide himself within its depths.

His behavior left Steve with a foul taste in his mouth; it almost made him miss the confident, slightly crazed Loki who had come to earth before. What happened to him?

Steve let out a sigh of relief when they pulled up in front of their destination. He still thought it was just about the ugliest thing he'd ever laid eyes on, but, God, he would have done just about anything to get out of that limo. Even Stark's tower looked appealing after the hour and a half he'd spent in there.

"Home sweet home, isn't she a beauty?" Tony asked as he stepped out of the car, arms out stretched.

"She's something alright," Steve replied.

"Stark, while I enjoy standing out here in the open, why don't you take us inside." Natasha commanded, halting Tony's retort as she slide out of the limo with a grace that reminded Steve of Peggy.

"It'd be my pleasure, _Natalie,_" Stark replied. His smirk appeared a bit more vicious than usual, as if he and Black Widow were sharing some sort of inside joke.

Natasha's eyes flashed, and her smile took on a whole new life. Subconsciously everyone but Tony took a step away from her, "Stark, don't make me regret my decision."

"What decision would that be, my dear?" Tony asked. He took a step closer to Natasha, reaching out to touch her shoulder, in what Steve imagined was supposed to be a friendly gesture.

Quick as a snake, Natasha grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back, leaning against it ever so slightly. "The decision to let you live, Stark," she hissed, pushing him away and stalking off towards the tower.

"Quite the catch, isn't she?" Tony inquired, seemingly unbothered by what had just transpired. "Well, we best not let the Widow into the tower first gentlemen. Else I fear we may wake up missing certain parts of our anatomy."

"Stark, I have the feeling; you'd be the only one waking up missing anything." Clint, for the first time since Loki arrived, took his eyes off the trickster and smirked at Tony.

"I can't decide if I should be flattered or hurt, Clint, that you would think Ms. Romanoff would single me out in such a manner."

"You definitely wouldn't be flattered," Clint replied, "In fact, I think hurt would be the very least of your problems."

Before Tony could reply, a black, SHIELD issue SUV pulled up and Fury exited, followed closely by Bruce Banner.

"Is there a reason you're all standing out here like idiots?" Before any of them could reply, Fury held up his hand. "Save it. Just get inside." Fury's dark eye met Steve's, and Steve could have sworn he picked up the slightest hint of disappointment. But he couldn't think of a single thing he could have done to disappoint the man.

"What a marvelous idea, Nick. Come, Bruce, we must lead our ragged group of misfits into our humble abode."

Bruce just rolled his eyes at Tony's antics, shooting them all a weary 'I have to deal with this everyday' before he followed after Tony, who was moving towards the front entrance with a rather impatient looking Widow.

Steve turned to look at Thor, and Loki, "Come on, we'd best catch up before they leave us behind."

Thor smiled at him, wrapping a large forearm around his brother's shoulders, and guiding them towards the others. Steve took up position behind them, since apparently everyone but himself and Hawkeye, who had materialized at Steve's side, had forgotten about the trickster.

Tony took them through the main lobby of the tower and led them into his private elevator. Steve tried his best to keep the gob smacked look off his face, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. He knew the Tony was rich, but wow, everything around him screamed 'MONEY' in big capital letters.

Even the elevator was made of glass, giving them a beautiful view of the city as they ascended towards the upper levels of the tower.

"JARVIS, take us to the top." Tony called, looking up expectantly.

"Yes, sir. Is there anything else I can help you with?" A mechanical British voice reverberated through the elevator, causing Steve to jump right out of his socks.

"Cool your jets, old timer, that's just JARVIS, my A.I." Tony turned a knowing smile on his face and a hint of laughter in his tone.

"A.I.?" Steve questioned, trying to regain his composure. His eyes flickered to the others, noting the fact that every pair of eyes were settled on him.

"Artificial Intelligence," When Steve's eyes remained blank, Tony shot Fury a look, before he rolled his eyes. "Look, Cap, it's basically a computer that can think on its own, okay?"

Steve just nodded, fixing his eyes on the floor in an attempt to avoid the looks everyone was sending his way. He hated how helpless he was here; even the simplest of things was a challenge for him.

Before anyone else could say anything, Steve was saved by the ding of the elevator, signaling that they'd arrived at their destination. "Welcome to the Avengers tower, gentlemen and Ms. Romanoff." The crisp voice of JARVIS rang out again, this time Steve only jumped a little, and he was able to brush it off before anyone, namely Tony, noticed.

Thirty minutes later, Steve found himself sitting on one of Tony's sleek, modern, black couches. The other Avengers were all sprawled out on the various couches surrounding the coffee table in the middle of Tony's living room.

Loki was the only one, besides Thor, who wasn't lying on a couch by himself. He had chosen to curl himself up on the couch besides Steve, with Thor on his left. Fury, who Steve still wasn't quite sure about, had chosen to stand behind them. His eye flittering between Loki and the other Avengers, as if he was looking at a bunch of puzzles pieces and he was still trying to figure out where they all fit.

Steve wished him the best of luck with that, because he wasn't even sure they were all pieces of the same puzzle yet. The only thing that any of them really had in common was the Avengers, and even that didn't seem to keep them together. Unless the world was in danger, then they could all put their problems aside and get things done.

Still, glancing around the room, Steve couldn't help the longing for fresh air on his face and the gentle hum of his motorcycle between his legs. That seemed so much simpler than dealing with this…whatever this was.

"So, how are we doing this guys? You bringing your stuff or am I generously supplying you all with STARK products?" Tony's voiced cut through the silence like a knife.

"We've taken care of that already, Stark." Fury replied. Steve felt a touch of irritation at the idea that Fury had touched his possessions without his permission, but then again, it was SHIELD he was dealing with. They weren't exactly known for their polite inquires when it came to getting things done.

"Thank you, _Nick_, for settling that." Tony leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and placed his head on his joined fingers, gazing at them all intently. "Well, since that's all settled, I've outfitted a floor for each of you. Not that I was intending for this to happen," Tony paused, the lightest hint of pink blossoming on his cheeks, "But it is the Avengers tower after all."

Natasha's fierce green eyes regarded Tony, interest flickering within their depths. "When you say you've outfitted a floor for each of us, what do you mean exactly?"

"Exactly what it sounds like," Tony replied with his award winning smirk, his mocha eyes a light with amusement. "For example, my dear Natasha, you have a specialized gym, and practice area equipped with a state of the art obstacle course, shooting range, various martial arts equipment, and a weapons room full of every weapon you could dream of and more. Should you get bored of that, the 47th floor is an Olympic style training facility, complete with everything any of you would need to work your body out to the max."

"What about me?" Clint called interrupting Natasha from the air chair besides her.

Tony laughed, it was nice to see Clint acting a little bit more like the Clint they all knew, his whole 'death-to-Loki' thing was a bit of a downer. "You, of course, have a state of the art archery arena, and a specialized weapons room full of various specialty arrows, bows, and other weaponry you might enjoy. You're training area is equipped to handle anything you throw at it, from mini-explosions to normal wear and tear; it was built with you in mind. Your floor is also equipped with plenty of nooks and crannies for you to explore, as well as direct access to your own personal hawk-nest." Tony chuckled a little to himself at his own sad attempt at humor.

"Stark, while I'm sure you could go on all day about this, we have important matters to discuss. You can save show-and-tell time for later, understood?" Fury interrupted, cutting off anything Tony was likely to say next.

Steve watched Tony's reaction carefully, and was surprised by how easily Tony shifted gears, "Aye-Aye, Captain." Stark bit back, he never let himself miss the opportunity to yank Fury's chain.

Fury just rolled his eye, moving to place himself in the middle of the room, "Since it's been made very clear to us that Loki will be staying with you all, here, in this tower. We need to discuss the rules for this operation. Any questions so far?"

When no one replied, Fury continued, "Loki is not to be left alone, which means he will be staying with one of you at all times. That includes all hours of the day and night, though I imagine he's capable of showering without supervision. So, Loki is going to be someone's new roommate."

"My brother can stay with me, Director Fury, for we often shared bed-chambers in our youth." Thor's voice echoed through the room. Steve wondered if he practiced his bellow in Asgard or if he was just born with it.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Thor, you're too emotionally involved with our little problem. We need someone who can watch him without letting personal vendettas or feelings get in their way."

Immediately, Steve felt every eye, with the exceptions of Loki's, pressing against him. "Me?" he questioned, his eyes widening as they locked with Fury's.

"You're the man for the job, Captain, but if you're not up to it…" Fury let the words hang between them.

Steve didn't say anything, because quite frankly he wasn't sure he was the man for the job, at least not anymore. He didn't doubt that he could handle Loki better than Clint, or Tony would, and he couldn't imagine Bruce would enjoy it very much. Natasha would probably do her whole I-feel-nothing-and-this-isn't-affecting-me act, not, he imagined, very helpful for someone trying to turn a new leaf. And Thor, well, despite his best intentions, Steve imagined he could be a bit overbearing at times.

Which left him as the only viable option, with a soft sigh he nodded, "I'll do it, but as long as it's clear that we get separate beds."

"You don't want company, Capsicle? I woulda thought after all those years in the ice you'd be begging for it." Steve felt himself stiffen; why was it that Tony always knew just where to hit him?

Steve couldn't even think of something to say, his mind was frozen, for lack of better terminology, and he could practically feel himself falling back into the icy water.

"Tony, was that really necessary?" Bruce's spoke for the first time, breaking him free of his memories, acting like a balm against his open wounds.

"I don't know what you mean, Bruce," Stark replied, his voice a little darker than usual.

Steve tuned out the words exchanged between the two, and after sometime the meeting came to an end. He was surprised Hawkeye hadn't protested more, but he guessed Fury's presence might have a little something to do with it.

"Either Phil or I will be coming to check up on you idiots before the end of the week." Fury called, sweeping into the elevator, his black leather coat trailing after him as the doors closed behind him.

"What floors are we on Stark?" Natasha asked, standing up and stretching.

"Well, Bruce already knows his number, Rogers and Loki are on 72, Barton is on 76, you're on 75, and Thor is on 74."

"I'll see you in the morning," was her only acknowledgment of his reply, before she too moved towards the elevator.

"Oh and communal kitchen, living room, and dinning room are here, on the 78th floor. In case you were wondering, and levels 50 to 56 are restricted to everyone but Bruce and I."

"Man of Iron, I too find myself in need of rest, the journey from Asgard has depleted my energy." Thor explained, standing to survey Tony.

"So you have interplanetary jetlag? Gotcha, just go press that little button over there," Tony told him, gesturing to the small elevator button on the wall across from them, "And JARVIS will take you to your floor."

"You have my thanks, Man of Iron. I shall see you on the morrow." Thor called, though his voice was quieter than usual as he moved to do as Tony instructed.

Bruce was the next to rise, giving them a quiet "Goodnight" before he too traveled down to his bedroom.

Then it was just Steve, Tony, Clint, and Loki left in the room, an awkward silence stretching between them. Steve sighed, "I think it's time to hit the hay, Loki?" He asked, azure eyes meeting Loki's wispy blues.

Loki didn't say a word, simply stood up and waited for Steve to move so that he could follow him.

"Goodnight, Cap, sleep tight." Tony called, as Steve strode towards the elevator, Loki shadowing him like a wraith.

"Goodnight Clint, Tony, I'll see you all in the morning," he replied, rubbing his eyes, while they waited for the elevator to arrive.

"Keep an eye on him, Cap," Clint yelled just as the elevator door's opened and the elevator chimed, telling them it had in fact arrived.

Steve just climbed into the elevator, waiting till Loki stood beside him to press the button for level 72. He didn't answer Clint, because he didn't feel it was necessary. Clint should know that Steve would perform his duty to the best of his ability and he would manage it without letting his own personal feelings interfere.

"Captain Rogers, I do believe we've arrived." Loki's voice washed over him like rain, pulling him gently from his thoughts.

"Guess I got distracted," he mumbled, the start of a blush appearing on his cheeks. "Let's see if we can find our room, shall we?" he asked, changing the topic as subtlety as he could.

"I don't believe I have anything better to do," Loki retorted, stepping out of the elevator only a second after Steve.

"Left or right?"

"Left."

"Alrightie then, left it is," Steve murmured to himself, striding down the left hallway, opening every door he came across. Just when he'd started to give up (how Tony managed to fit so many rooms into one floor, he would never know), he opened the last door on the right, and his bedroom was finally revealed.

He couldn't help the sigh that escaped his lips, he would have to figure out who he needed to thank for this. Whether it was Tony, Pepper –yes, he'd met Pepper-, or a combination of the two of them, the room was absolutely perfect. The floors were made of a rich mahogany that gleamed in the moonlight streaming through the wall of glass directly across from the door. Gauzy blue curtains hung neatly on the edges of the windowed wall, covered partially by thicker, and slightly darker blue curtains (most likely meant to keep out any light while he slept). A writing desk stood to the left of the door, it too was made of Mahogany, and even from where he stood, Steve could tell it was an authentic piece from the 40's.

His attention drifted to the large array of art supplies covering the desks surface; how had they known? It didn't really matter, but he was curious, not many people knew about his love of art. Or, at least, not many people cared that he was an artist at heart, they were far more interested in the solider exterior. The fact that someone had taken the time to learn that about him, made his heart ache with happiness.

On the wall adjacent to the desk, there were two sets of French double doors, he assumed one led to the bathroom and the other to the closet. He would check them out tomorrow after he'd slept. Speaking of sleeping, dominating the room from the right corner lay a beautiful, large (California king, maybe?) bed, it was also an authentic 40's piece he assumed, and it was truly beautiful. The frame looked sturdy, and he could practically see the craftsman who had put this piece together with his bare hands –something he'd found no one really did anymore, not since mass production had taken over-.

Before he could take in the rest of the room, a small cough distracted him, and he turned his attention to the man standing behind him. It was then he realized he'd been standing in the door frame for at least ten minutes, keeping Loki from entering the bedroom. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave you out there." He took a few steps into the room, and slid to the left so that Loki could come in too.

"I don't think they had time to get you a bed yet."

"That's fine, Captain, I've slept on far less comfortable floors before."

Immediately, Steve felt his heart clench; he hadn't meant for Loki to sleep on the floor, and the fact that it was Loki's initial thought angered him.

"I would never ask you to sleep on the floor, you can have the bed, and I'll go get a few blankets from our living room." _If I can find it,_ though he left that part unsaid.

"It's your bed, Captain, I do not see the logic in you giving it to me." Loki's eyes were filled with genuine curiosity, and his head tilted a fraction as he observed the man before him.

"My mother would be disappointed in me, if I allowed you to sleep on the floor while I took the bed."

"I do not see your mother here, so you are not obligated to do as she would," Loki replied, the faintest hint of irritation making its way into his voice. "Also, you seem to forget that I was an Asgardian Prince, and I would be caught dead before I allowed my host to sleep on the floor."

"That's not the point, Loki, but if it helps, I would feel better if you slept on the bed." Steve replied. The sincerity in his voice, didn't escape even Loki's ears, try as he might to ignore it.

"Fine," he said with a sigh, "I will take the bed, but it appears big enough for the both of us. So, I will do as you request, so long as you agree to sleep in the bed as well."

Steve stared at the trickster for a moment, before replying, "I don't think that would be appropriate."

"Does it matter, Captain?"

That caught him off guard, while he wasn't looking forwards to spending the night on the floor, he never imagined Loki would offer to share a bed with him. It was rather unnerving, but the bed was big, maybe even larger than the California kind he had initially suspected.

"I guess not." His voice betrayed his hesitation, but he could tell by the satisfaction that flashed on Loki's features that it was too late to back out now.

"Did you bring any clothes with you?" Steve questioned, glad to have thought of something to change the subject.

Loki fixed him with stare that practically screamed "What-the-hell-do-you-think?"

"In that case, you can borrow one of my t-shirts, and some flannel pants. If that's alright?"

"That's fine," Loki replied. Apparently he'd near about reached his quota for conversation for the day.

"Alright, give me a second," Steve told him, he walked towards the two doors he'd mentioned earlier, and much to his delight, the first door he opened led him to the closet. Though his things barely took up a 1/8 of the allotted closet space, it was still nice to see that all his things were there. He shook his head, refocusing on his mini-mission, grabbing two pairs of flannel pants, and two white t-shirts off of his rather large pile.

Then he walked back out, and handed a set to Loki, "Would you like to change in the bathroom or here?"

"The bathroom is fine." Loki had vanished into the bathroom before Steve had a chance to reply. Deciding that he needed to make the best of his time, he stripped off his day clothes and pulled on his pjs as quickly as he could. The last thing he needed was Loki walking out of the bathroom and catching him with his pants down, literally.

A few minutes later, they were standing beside each other, staring at the bed as if it was going to grow fangs and eat them any second. Neither Steve nor Loki moved, keeping a crisp foot between themselves, waiting for the other person to break the awkward silence stretching between them.

With a large sigh, Steve drew himself up and turned to face Loki. "So," he paused, fumbling with what to say next.

"So?" Loki parroted, his sly green eyes twinkled with what Steve assumed was amusement. Which, in case anyone was wondering, did not help him in the slightest with his attempt to make this situation any less, well, awkward.

"So," he continued, cursing his social ineptitude, "how do you want to do this?"

"I imagine, Captain—"

"Steve, please," Steve interrupted instinctively.

"Well, as I was saying, before I was _**RUDELY**_ interrupted, I imagine, Steve, that in order to do this we must first get into bed, and from there I say it explains itself."

Steve nodded this was one hell of a second impression to make. "Sounds about right, so left or right?"

Loki simply looked puzzled by his question. "What do you mean?"

"Do you want the left or the right side of the bed?"

"What side do you want, Steve?"

"I'm a military man; I can sleep just about anywhere, on just about anything. In short, I can work with either side, and I'd prefer you take which side makes you most comfortable."

Loki brought his hand up to rub his forehead, clearly this conversation was beginning to wear on him. "Fine, I will take the left side. Now can we please get into bed?" Yep, he was definitely done.

Steve nodded, walking around to the right side as Loki maneuvered over to the left side. They pulled back the covers and got in.

Steve repressed yet another sigh, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling as if it held the answers to all his questions within its blank white depths.

"Your thoughts are keeping me awake, Captain, attempt to restrain them."

"Sorry, I can't seem to fall asleep," Steve replied hastily, though he honestly had no idea how one restrained their own thoughts. Did he simply close his eyes and hope for good things? Or were people now-a-days simply able to turn their brains off like those computers doheckies?

"Are you making any effort at all?" Loki sounded frustrated, and by his ceaseless shifting, rather uncomfortable.

"I'm trying," he huffed.

Loki just sighed, settling himself after a few more seconds of shuffling.

"Goodnight," Steve whispered, turning over on his side, so that he was facing the wall. He forced his eyes shut, and attempted to will himself to sleep. He was so focused that he almost missed the very hesitant "goodnight" echoed from Loki.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey Guys,

First I wanted to apologize for the lack of author note last time. For some reason it completely slipped my mind when I was about to post the chapter and I forgot to attach mine. So, hopefully you guys can forgive me! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and hopefully I'll be posting chapter five soon

Okay on to comments:

Marinelvr84: Oh don't even worry about, I appreciate you taking anytime at all to review, and I'm really glad you like it! Thank you, that is such a big compliment, hopefully you will continue to read and enjoy this story

Artemid: Thank you so much! I hope you are still enjoying the story and I promise to update a little faster from now on! Thanks again for the support

Marianne: Thank you for the review and though I can't give away too much I will definitely put it out there that Tony, Steve and Loki will be getting a lot closer ;)

Ordis: I know right! That's what first drew me to him as a character, and I really trying to stay true to that part of him. I'm glad you liked Tony, my beta enjoyed him too in this chapter, and hopefully this chapter works on solidifying those friendships!

Last note, thank you once again to everyone who reviewed, alerted, favorite or reads this story in general! It really means a lot to me 3

"Captain, might I have a word?" the regal and aloof voice of Loki, the "god" of Mischief asked, breaking his concentration.

"What can I help you with?" Steve questioned, taking his hands away from the punching bag he'd been well on the way to breaking before Loki's arrival. He wasn't used to anyone being up at this hour; in the short week they'd been at the Avengers tower he hadn't encountered anyone before 8'oclock.

When Loki remained silent, Steve turned to look at him, taking in the deep purple bruises beneath his eyes. It was odd, the first two nights they had shared a bed, -Steve was 100% sure Tony deliberated delayed the arrival of Loki's bed to mess with him- Loki hadn't appeared to have any trouble sleeping. Then again Steve had been wrapped up in his own nightmares.

He also picked up on the man's (without his powers Steve was even less inclined to call him a god) inability to take his gaze from the floor.

"I'm assuming, due to the hour, that what you need to ask is something you'd rather everyone else didn't hear?" He took in Loki's startled jump, his pale blue eyes coming up to capture Steve's baby blues.

After a second Loki opened his mouth to reply, "Yes, Captain, you would be correct, I do not wish for the other Avengers to hear what I am about to say." Loki sighed, casting his eyes downwards once more, freeing Steve from his piercing gaze, "Can I trust you to keep this conversation quiet?"

Steve felt himself nodding before he'd taken the time to think about it, "Yes, as long as it doesn't pertain to anything that could lead to harm befalling someone outside of this room."

"So you would keep it silent even if it might hurt you?" Without waiting for Steve to reply, Loki continued, "Why do you place so little value on your life, Captain Rogers?" Loki's gaze was pinning him once again, "Even before you came to this time you gave your life to save others without a second thought. Why?"

Steve opened his mouth but no words came out; Loki's question had surprised him. Minutes passed, but the silence continued to stretch between them, while Steve let himself drown in the Trickster's blue eyes. He'd never noticed before but there were the smallest flecks of silver splattered against the blue. He suddenly wished for his paint supplies.

"Captain Rogers?"

"I value my life, Loki, I just value the lives of others more," he finally choked out.

"Why?" He asked again, "You are far superior to the people on this planet; your life is easily worth a few hundred of theirs. So tell me, why do you continue to defend them? Even when your spirit belongs not here but somewhere decades away from this place?"

"I would lay down my life for any one of theirs because that's my job, that who I am. Captain America is a symbol that will always have a place here, even if Steve Rogers doesn't. I don't expect anyone to understand, least of all you, but I was frozen for seventy years. Everyone I knew lived their lives and died while I slept. I have to believe that I survived for something, something bigger then Steve Rogers and his petty problems." Steve sighed, turning away.

"Steve Rogers isn't a hero," Steve gazed ahead, his eyes unseeing. "_I'm_ not a hero, Loki, I'm just a kid from Brooklyn who hated bullies and wanted to fight for his country."

"Captain America_ is_ this country, everything it stands for, and everything it hopes to be. And Captain America would sacrifice anything and everything to keep America's spirit alive."

Steve finished, his fists clenched against his sides. God, he wanted to break something so bad it nearly took his breath away.

"How can Captain America and Steve Rogers be so different? Are they not the same person, Captain?"

"If that were true, why does everyone ask first for the Captain?" He sighed, "I'm not sure why I'm even telling you this Loki, but I'm used to it. Captain America is the one they pulled out of the ice, not Steve Rogers; they pulled out a symbol. They don't want the man behind it. Honestly, I'm sure if they could take the suit and the shield and leave me in the ice they would have."

He turned himself around just in time to catch the disbelief in Loki's eyes before it disappeared. "I believe you underestimate yourself, Steve Rogers." Steve's eyes widened.

"When Thor returned us to Asgard, he would not shut up about the Avengers, but most of all he talked about you, Steve Rogers. Not about the Captain, though he respects that side of you, but about the man who makes Captain America."

Steve stared at him eyebrows raised, but allowed Loki to continue. "Truly, Captain Rogers, he respects you because in his words you are a "Man with a heart of gold, whose ability rivals that of my companions here. In battle he strives not to mortally wound his enemies but to take them out in the least harmful way. Brother, I only wish it hadn't taken me so long to see the strength in men like the Captain."

Steve smiled. "Thanks for relaying that to me, but is that the reason you came?" He tried to keep the doubt out of his voice, because despite everything Loki had done he was clearly making an effort.

"No, Captain Rogers that is not why I originally came to see you. I wished to know how you cope with being the man out of time as you say?"

Steve felt his eyes softening as he took in the man before him, since he had arrived here he'd been hanging around like a wraith. He never left their sights, but he skittered around them like a beaten puppy.

Steve couldn't exactly blame him, anytime he did just about anything, Clint or one of the others appeared to interrogate him. His motives were always questioned, leaving Loki utterly helpless under the near constant barrage of hostilities from the group. He was in a way just like Steve, he didn't fit in here, -though for completely different reasons-. Just like Steve, everything he did just seemed to set him apart just that much more.

"Sometimes I don't, Loki, sometimes I wish that they had never found me, but then I think of the people who loved me, who believed in me. They'd be so disappointed in me if they could hear half the things I think about sometimes. I can't stand the idea of that, so I do everything in my power to stay afloat."

Steve paused, walking up to put a hand on Loki's shoulder, "I know it's hard to be the odd one out, trust me, I know but you just have to give everyone time. If you truly wish to change, you have to prove it to them. Though in the meantime, if you'd like I can speak with them about trying a little harder to understand your situation."

Steve knew that people like Loki didn't just become monsters, they were made into them, and having heard Loki's story he understood to a certain extent why he was the way he was.

"I fell," Loki said quietly looking past Steve's soldier, "I fell off the rainbow bridge, into darkness like none I'd ever experienced before. It ate at my soul, turning me inside out and making me relive my most painful memories, nightmares, and foretellings over and over again. Until I felt as if I would never see past those nightmare apparitions."

Steve could hardly bear the haunted look in the man's eyes; it was a look he knew all too well. "I was cold, so cold I never thought I'd feel warmth again, but in the same second I was on fire, and it was so hot I knew there would never be something cool enough to relieve me. It was a never-ending torture, and just when my mind was on the brink of breaking. They saved me, the chitari and their leader. Saved me from insanity."

Loki's eyes flew up to Steve's. "I thought I'd been saved Captain, I thought I'd found a place to belong, but instead I became another pawn, just in a different game."

Loki stopped talking but his eyes never left Steve's, and Steve couldn't help the sorrow that swam in the depths of his eyes. He had felt these same things, but instead of a being a pawn he was a weapon, a show monkey for everyone to see.

Granted, it didn't feel right comparing his torture to Loki, for he knew that his must have been far worse than his own, but in that moment a connection was forged between the two of them.

In Loki, Steve believed he might have just found his first friend here; ironic, no? That his first friend would also be the first enemy he had faced here.

"It's okay, Captain Rogers, I don't need words to know what you are trying to say," Loki paused, carefully removing Steve's hand from his shoulder, with what looked like an attempt at a smile, "I came down here to see if I might find a kindred spirit, and though I am the God of Deceit, I cannot lie when I say I am most glad I came."

Steve couldn't help but laugh, "Surprisingly enough, I'm glad you came too." He sobered up, "I will speak to the others, but, Loki, a common background doesn't always equate to a common future. Consider that while you are here, because I can see the good in you, a lot of good actually, but you have to decide what to do with it."

"I will consider your words, Captain Rogers that I promise you, but for now I shall take my leave." Loki replied, standing a little taller than when he'd first come into the room.

Steve stuck out his hand, "I hope you do, and I'll see you at breakfast?" Loki rarely joined the rest of them for meals, because it usually resulted in a tense and rather unhappy affair. Steve was really going to have to talk to the others today and hopefully they might at least reach some sort of agreement in regards to the trickster's treatment.

"We shall see Captain-"

"Call me Steve" How he hadn't gotten that across during this past week, Steve couldn't guess. But at least he was getting it across now.

"Alright, Steve, we shall see, we shall see." With that Loki turned on his heel, exiting the training room silently. It was only then that Steve realized he'd been wearing Avengers pjs. Tony's idea of a joke he was sure, but still he couldn't help but grin. Loki wearing Avengers pjs was definitely, a what did Tony call it, a Kodak moment maybe? Either way it was classic.

A few hours later, Steve had gathered the Avengers in the kitchen, each of them taking their usual seats around the table. Steve and Tony both took a seat at the ends of the table, Natasha sat next to Steve on his left, with Thor on his right, while Clint sat beside Natasha, and Bruce sat across from Clint.

When they'd were all seated, Steve cleared his throat, "Alright everyone, I've called this meeting to talk about Loki…"

Immediately everyone's heads shot up to look at him, an array of emotions reflected on their faces. "What about him?" Clint asked ignoring the coffee he'd been drinking in favor of staring at Steve.

"We had a talk this morning in the gym."

"Consorting with the enemy over there, Spangles?" Tony asked. Steve couldn't identify the emotion leaking through Tony's voice, but it reminded him of Peggy's tone when she caught him with that blonde secretary. Weird.

"He's not our enemy, at least not anymore." Steve held up his hand to stop anyone from saying anything, "He came here to be punished, I don't deny that, but what has he done in this past week to cause any sort of trouble?"

Clint opened his mouth, then closed it twice, before he finally stood up, slamming his hands on the table, "He's just trying to trick us, lure us into a false sense of security, but the minute he gets his powers back don't think for a second he won't go right back to being his old self."

"Man of Hawks, this is not so, All-Father would not restore Loki's abilities unless he could see in his heart that he was a changed man. Do not insult my father in such a manner again."

"Well, Thor, your father didn't seem to be much help last time, did he?"

Now Thor was standing up, a thunderous look in his eyes, "Odin sent me, did he not?"

"That's enough," Steve called over them, sounding ever bit like the captain he was. Both Clint and Thor turned to look at him, returning to their seats without another word passing between them.

"Look at yourselves. We are supposed to be a team, but we can't even sit down for two minutes and have a serious discussion? Clint, you need to get yourself together. We understand that you're hurting, but I wouldn't have expected you to allow that to compromise you in such a manner."

Clint looked down, clenching his fists together under the table. "Thor, you need to understand what Loki did to Clint was unacceptable and it will have lasting consequences. So it might take him a while to accept that Loki might not be the same person. But under no circumstances will fighting amongst ourselves help anyone."

He let that hang over the group, taking in everyone's expressions before he continued. Natasha was looking up at him, her green eyes dark, but her expression contained only curiosity and the barest hint of respect. While Tony was watching him with another expression Steve couldn't quite place.

Thor and Clint were staring at the table, as if it held all the answers to their problems, but he could tell by the droop in their shoulders that his words had wrung true with them. Finally he met Bruce's eyes, he gave Steve the slightest of nods, his expression unreadable, but that wasn't something new to him. Bruce Banner was always something of a mystery to him. Though Steve would be the first to vouch for Bruce should anyone question his place here.

"Now, as I was saying, Loki and I had a conversation this morning in the gym, and I believe that he is at the very least seriously contemplating his actions." Steve sighed, "I believe that Loki wants to change, but I don't think any of us, myself included, are giving him a chance to." He hadn't included Thor in that because even when Loki unleashed a horde of aliens on New York, Thor still believed in his brother.

"After he left, I had a lot to think, and since I've been with him practically every second this week, I can say without a doubt he hasn't been up to anything. At least nothing out of the ordinary."

Steve closed his eyes standing up, and put his back to the other Avengers. "So, I invited him to breakfast this morning. He may not show, but if he does, I sincerely hope that we can all at least make an effort."

When he turned back around all the Avengers had resumed staring at him, and to his surprise Tony was the first to speak. "Alright, Captain Righteous, I'm willing to give Loki a chance, but only because you asked so nicely."

Steve nodded despite his phrasing, Tony's words were lacking their usual bite, and a sense of understanding passed between them.

Bruce smiled at Steve. "I'm with Tony on this one, Captain, but I hope that whatever Loki said to you doesn't turn out to be another one of his tricks. There are only so many second chances someone can get before people stop giving them."

Natasha and Clint exchanged a quick glance, in a second it seemed an entire conversation had passed between them. "Fine, we're willing to give him a chance, but Captain, I hope he doesn't let you down," Natasha said, her eyes speaking volumes to the amount of trust the two assassins were placing in his words.

God, Steve prayed that Loki wouldn't let him down. "Thank you, this means a lot more than you think," Steve told them all, giving them one of his mega-watt smiles, before he walked towards the fridge. "I'm making breakfast, anyone else want some?"

A chorus of "Count me in's" and "Why not's" came back to him.

Thirty minutes later, with the help of Thor and Bruce, Steve was bringing the food to the table, a large assortment of omelets, pancakes, sausage, bacon, toast, and Pop-tarts (as if Thor could go without at least one box) littered the table.

"Breakfast is served," Steve called, and the others began to trickle back in. When they were all seated, Steve took a second to gaze at the empty seat beside him. He'd been so sure that Loki would come, and the disappointment was stifling.

"Am I late?" came a voice behind him, as Loki strode into the kitchen. His Avengers pjs replaced by a pair of dark wash blue jeans, a deep green dress shirt with a black t-shirt underneath.

Steve smiled up at the trickster, "No, you're actually right on time." The small chatter had quieted the second Loki walked into the room, but the awkward silence that descended upon them was broken by Thor's boisterous voice.

"Brother, you have joined us! This is a most joyous occasion. Shall we feast together?" He asked, aiming his question at everyone.

"Sure thing, Shakespeare, doth your brother Rudolph wisheth to join us?" Tony replied with a small chuckle, and with that the awkwardness was officially ended.

"Man of Iron, who is this Shakespeare you speak of?"

"Oh, it's nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about, Thor."

Thor shot Tony a quizzical look, before reaching to grab a box of Pop-tarts, some toast, an omelet, some bacon and a few pancakes. No one even looked at this twice, with Steve and Thor in the house; you got used to people eating enough for ten in one sitting.

Steve looked at Loki, gesturing for him to take the seat between him and Thor, "What are you in the mood for? I made pretty much everything." Steve asked him, while he loaded his own plate to the brim with food.

"I think I'll try one of those _Pop-tarts_ my brother is always speaking of and an omelet," Loki paused, looking at Steve, "_Please_." He said the word so quietly, Steve almost didn't hear him, but his entire body perked up. It may not be much, but it was definitely a start.

"Sure, you'll have to talk to Thor about the Pop-tarts, he's not really one for sharing," Steve said with a laugh, handing Loki the serving platter holding the Omelets.

"Brother, you can have all the pop-tarts your heart does desire if you will join us for our daily feasting more often."

Loki actually cracked a smile at that. "I'll see what I can do, Thor," He replied, taking the silver bag of pop-tarts.

"So, how did everyone sleep?" Steve asked, trying to draw everyone into the conversation.

"I slept like a baby, as you Midgardians would say; I find my bed here to be most comfortable. Thank you, Man of Iron, once again for allowing us to reside here." Thor bellowed spewing crumbs all over everyone.

Tony tried to glare at the Asgardian, but he couldn't even half-ass it before something like a smile tugged his lips up. He wiped his face off with his sleeve, "You're welcome, Mighty Thor, I, myself, managed to get a few hours of sleep in before you called this meeting, Cap." Stark was never one to miss out on the opportunity to yank someone's chain.

Thor looked like a rooster, the way his chest puffed out when Tony called him mighty. It was ridiculous and adorable at the same time. Then again pretty much everything Thor did fit into that category, except for his actions on the battlefield. To call those any less than terrifyingly vicious would be a downright lie.

"I slept like a rock. Tony wore me out with all the new ideas he wanted to try out in the lab," Bruce told them all with his usual self-deprecating smile.

"Well I did work you hard, didn't I?" Tony called with a smirk, throwing a careless wink at Bruce. Steve felt a small blush color his cheeks at the implication. He didn't have a problem with homosexuality, despite what some people might think, love came in all different sizes and shapes, he knew that. But as per usual, anything sexual made him blush like a school girl. It was incredibly frustrating, especially considering the sexually charged atmosphere of the 21st century.

Natasha rolled her eyes, "Stark, we all know Banner only just puts up with you, I doubt he'd let you work him out in such a manner." Bruce shot her an appreciative look. "I didn't get much sleep. _Someon_e was snoring in the room beside mine." She shot Clint one of her patented glares.

"I don't snore," Clint huffed, taking a long gulp of coffee when Natasha's glare intensified.

"I recorded it," she dead-panned, eye brows raised, as if she was daring him to try to refute her.

"Fine, maybe I snore a little bit, but it's really not that bad," Clint replied, looking desperately at the other Avengers, like any of them would risk Natasha's wrath to save him. Ha, the idea was laughable, considering they all wanted to live to see tomorrow.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Clint."

"_I'm on the Highway to hell/on the highway to hell/highway to hell/I'm on the highway to hell"_ Tony held up a finger, grabbing his little phone, and answering it.

"Hello?"

Natasha, Clint, and Bruce were all suddenly on their phones, and Steve felt a vibration in his pocket. Apparently he was getting a call as well. "Hello?"

"Captain Rogers, it's Nick Fury…"

"Do we need to suit up, Director?"

"Yes you do, Captain, there's a situation that requires our immediate attention. You'll be briefed on the quinjet; we need you on the ground ASAP."

"Alright, sir, I think we can be ready in half an hour, but what do you want us to do with Loki, sir?"

"Dammit, we don't have time to discuss this. Leave him at the tower, I'll send Coulson over to babysit him."

"Are you sure that's a good idea, sir?"

"Captain, I need you to focus, can you do that for me?"

"Yes sir."

"Good, I'll be sending a quinjet in half an hour, so be ready."

"Will do, sir."

With that the call was ended, and Steve was standing up. "Time to suit up, Fury will be here in half an hour. Grab your gear. Director Fury didn't mention how long we're going to be gone. So, I suggest packing a few changes of clothing, better to be safe than sorry." _Or at least that's what they always told me_, he thought to himself, watching the Avengers drift away from the table. Within a few seconds it was just him and Loki, who remained seated, head down and shoulders hunched.

"Loki," He lifted his head, luminescent blue eyes meeting Steve's baby blues, "Coulson's will be coming to watch you, will you be alright?"

If Steve hadn't been trained to catch the slightest changes in a person's demeanor, he might have missed the way Loki's eyes widened, and the gentle flare of his nostrils. "Yes, Captain Rogers, I believe I can handle _Coulson_," His voice was steady, but Steve wasn't fooled, not one bit.

"He's a good man, Loki, give him a chance, and he'll return the favor."

"I've been given to many _good_ men, _Captain_, but it isn't as though I have a choice in the matter."

Steve wanted to reach out and reassure the trickster, who suddenly looked as though the weight of the world was pressing against his shoulders, but one look from Loki stifled that urge. He didn't want or need Steve's comfort, while they had formed a tedious bond that morning, he still hadn't earned his trust.

"Don't you have a team to assemble, Captain? I'm sure you wouldn't want to keep the waiting." Loki's cool voice filled the space between them, and the very subtle nod he gave Steve, assured him that he would be fine.

"You're right, Loki, thank you for reminding me. We'll be back soon, and remember what I said, please," Steve let that hang between them, exiting the kitchen to gather his own gear.


	5. Chapter 5

_Hey Guys, _

_I'm so sorry that it's been so long, I just started college and it's been really hectic! But I've not given up on this story, and in fact I'm about half way through with chapter six and hopefully will be posting it soon! I hope you all are doing great, and thank you soo much for the reviews, favorites, and alerts I really appreciate it so much! _

_I love you guys so much! _

_3 Fallen _

Steve stared down at the jumble of wires in front of him and tried to keep his mouth from dropping open. There were so many wires, he wasn't even sure he could count them all. Why was everything in this century so complicated? Back in his day bombs like this were pretty simple; there was a red wire and a blue wire, and you only needed to cut one and your job was done.

But this, this was ridiculous; there were so many different colors and shades that he wasn't even sure if there were red and blue wires. Just every other color between them apparently. God, why had he thought for a second he was going to be able to handle this?

"Cap, you need any help down there? The rest of the team and I are about to head into the big tunnel to deal with the rest of the doom bots." Tony's transmission broke a few times, but Steve got the basic message. Tony apparently didn't take Bruce's word very seriously, he'd literally just had this convo with him.

With one glance at the crumbled doom bot to his left, Steve sighed and replied hastily. "Nope, I've got everything under control down here. Just keep an eye on everyone till I get there." There was no need for anyone else to get hurt. He was Captain America. He was made to take hits like this. The others, they were just humans, well except for Thor, but Thor wouldn't be much help in this situation. Why take the risk?

"Will do, Cap." Tony's voice cracked out through his comm. Apparently being almost a mile underground was a problem even for the coms Tony had built them.

Steve opened his mouth, about to take back what he'd said and ask for Tony to come help him, but something made him stop.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _He hadn't noticed it until just then, and he carefully shifted the bomb over so that he could look at the front. How could he have missed that? There, staring up at him was a timer, and it looked like he had about 7 seconds to disarm the bomb before it went off. He already knew it was too late.

He watched the countdown in silence; the ticking seemed to echo through the tunnel walls. He could probably run, but he found himself rooted to the floor. Maybe if he stayed he'd be able to see Peggy and Bucky again. God, that'd be nice.

He watched the two slowly melt into one, and for some reason his brain drifted back to why he was here. Why he thought of that in his last second, he had no idea.

_They'd arrived at the SHIELD helicarrier and were immediately ushered onto a quinjet. Fury was waiting for them. With a quick jerk of his head, the pilot took off before the ramp had even finished closing. _

"_We have a situation in West Virginia," he held up his hand, "I know it's not our usual destination but it appears for once someone decided to switch things up a bit." _

"_But West Virginia, really? What are they going to do? Scare the shit out of some hillbillies?" Clint asked, laughing at his own joke. He usually had to, since no one else would. _

"_Hell if I know, the point is, Barton, that some locals spotted a large gang of Doom Bots entering an abandoned mine at approximately 0600. Your job is to figure out what they are up too and stop them whatever the cost. Is that clear?" _

"_Aye-Aye Cap'tn, we will stop the villain and bring back da booty," Stark replied, a shit-eating grin spread across his face. Yes, Steve could upon occasion curse, even if only in his thoughts.___

_Fury didn't reply, just sent Stark his signature 'do-you-have-a-death-wish' glare, that everyone tried to pretend wasn't intimidating. _

"_Is there anything else we need to know about this? I don't know if I like the idea of us going down into a mine shaft to engage doom bots in battle. What if it collapses?" Steve asked.____He was in full Captain America mode now. He needed to make sure that all his men came back and something about this mission was rubbing him the wrong way. _

"_Well Captain, that's the reason I'm sending you guys in instead of standard issue SHIELD agents. Most of you are capable of taking a hit and those of you that aren't know how to evade one. As for the mine itself, it was abandoned sometime in the 30's, and it's been empty since then. From our estimations it's about 1 ½ to 2 miles deep, with four main tunnels branching off from the main entrance. Most of the tunnels lead pretty deep into the mine, but the fourth tunnel leads about ½ a mile down and bottoms out in a large open room of sorts." _

_Steve nodded, he was already thinking about the best way to divide and conquer the tunnels. He's probably send Thor and Barton down one tunnel, Natasha and Stark down the other, Banner would stay at the entrance unless they needed assistance. Steve tried to take in consideration that Bruce hated transforming, even now that he had a better handle on the Hulk. Plus, the Hulk down in a crowded tunnel didn't sound like the best idea ever. _

_As for himself, he would take one of the tunnels by himself, and they would all regroup at the entrance to take the fourth tunnel. Since it lead to a large room, that would probably be where the majority of the Doom Bots were, and where the Hulk would be the most useful. So, it was best to pick off any bots lingering in the other three tunnels first. _

_When he looked up, he noticed that the others had continued to banter and converse without him. Not that he was surprised. He stuck out in this group like a sore-thumb. Being the man out of time seemed less and less worth the trouble every day. Despite what he said to Loki, he thought about checking out of this place more times than he'd care to admit. Some days even the thought of what his friends might think wasn't enough to stop him thinking about it. _

_He could deal with Peggy and Bucky giving him a disappointed look if it meant getting to see them again. He would do anything for that chance, anything. _

"_Steve, you alright there buddy?" Steve hadn't even noticed Bruce coming to sit beside him. He did notice the slight hunch in the older man's posture, and the tightness around his eyes. _

_He wished that Bruce could see how much everyone cares about him, despite the Hulk. Come to think of it, somewhere along the way he'd stopped thinking of the Hulk as a negative but a positive thing that Bruce contributed to the group. _

"_Yeah, just thinking about the mission, that's all__**,**__" Steve replied, forcing a smile onto his lips. He'd gotten a lot of practice doing that; first as a UFO boy and then pretty much every day since he'd woken up. _

"_Are you sure? You were looking a little pale," Bruce was staring at him intently, and for a second there Steve was sure he was seeing right through him. _

"_I'm sure, Bruce, but thank you for asking," Steve reassured him, brightening his smile by a few watts and setting a hand over the man's shoulder, trying to convey what he couldn't with words. _

_Suddenly Bruce smiled at him. "Good, I was worried about you for a second there Cap. I know we haven't known each other that long but I hope we can get to know each other better in the future." _

_This time Steve's smile was real. "I'd like that, really, I would." _

_Bruce clapped his shoulder, before standing up and returning to his seat next to Tony. _

_It seemed like hours later that Fury alerted them that they would be landing soon. Immediately the tension in the jet rose, each of them trying not to think of all the things that could go wrong on this mission. There were too many unknown variables for any of them to feel comfortable. _

_Why were the doom bots even here? What was the plan of action? Which tunnel would they be hiding in? What happened if one of the tunnels caved in while they were inside? None of them were overly fond of small, dark, enclosed spaces. _

_There was a small jolt as the aircraft landed, and the ramp detached so they could get off. _

"_Captain," came the joyous boom of Thor's voice, "What is your battle plan?" _

_Steve smiled; something about the God just put him at ease. He was so carefree, and despite everything he'd seen he somehow maintained this aura of innocence and happiness. It made Steve feel something akin to jealously._

"_Well Thor…" he then relayed the plan he'd come up with to the others. _

"_Well, I guess they didn't call you the star-spangled-man-with-a-plan for nothing," Stark called from behind Iron Mans mask. _

_Steve forced himself not to glare. Why did Tony always know just how to get under his skin?____"Alright, let's get down there and see what we are up against." Steve called, choosing to ignore Stark for the time being. _

"_What__**, **__no come-back from the Great Captain America?" _

_Steve once again ignored him as he started to trudge towards the entrance Fury had pointed out to him. The others followed behind him relatively quickly when they realized he and Stark weren't about to fight. _

_The feeling he'd had in the jet seemed to magnify the minute he stepped into the cool, heavy air of the mine. Something about this place just wasn't right. Despite the light pouring into the entrance from the outside, there was a darkness hanging over them all. _

_Steve gripped his shield just a little tighter and turned to the group. "Alright, now that we're here I'm assigning each group their tunnel, and in forty minutes I want us all to meet back here. We'll head into the last tunnel after that, alright?" When everyone nodded their assent he continued, "Clint, and Thor you'll be taking the first tunnel, Natasha, Stark you guys have the second tunnel. Bruce, you'll be staying here until we meet back up and head into the fourth tunnel, because until we get into that open space the Hulk will be more of a liability than an asset." _

_Bruce nodded, a tired smile on his face, as he reached into his bag for something. "Before I forget, Fury gave me these things for you guys. Apparently SHIELD was able to get these for illuminating the tunnels, press the top button and the light will hover after you. It's actually quite fascinating…" Bruce trailed off, handing them each a square box the size of a comic book but with the density of a dictionary. Just as he said there was a small blue button on the very top. _

"_So, Captain, who will be accompanying you?" Natasha asked, her cool green eyes flickering up to meet his. _

"_I'll be going down by myself, Natasha." Steve replied, ignoring the raise of her eyebrow and the heavy gazes of the team upon him. _

"_Captain, we are a team, are we not? I feel ill-at-ease knowing no one will have your back, valiant and courageous in battle though you are." Thor called, his voice echoing through the tunnels, concern clear in his icy blue eyes. _

"_Yes, Thor, we are a team, but these are just a few stray doom bots. We'll be meeting up before we head down to tackle the main group." Steve held up his hand before anyone else could question his decision, "We don't have time to argue, we need to finish our mission and report back to SHIELD." _

"_Alright, Captain-panties-in-a-bunch, we'll do things your way, but try not to get hurt. Fury will find a way to blame it on me, and I could go without another lecture." Tony's synthesized voice broke the silence between them. _

_Steve barely restrained the eye-roll just dying to happen, of course, Tony cared not because he worried about Steve but because he didn't want to get lectured. Days like this, well, they made Steve miss the Commandoes, and the way they were always looking out for each other. _

"_Alright team, let's go," Steve barked, striding towards his tunnel, without breaking stride he activated the light device Bruce had given them –and yes, he is capable of using technology without it exploding-. "Forty minutes, don't forget." _

_He didn't wait for the team to reply, just headed into his tunnel, trying not to be overly impressed by the hovering light trailing behind him. It really was a nifty little invention, freed up both his hands, while still providing adequate light. _

_He'd been walking for some time, forcing himself to ignore the growing dread building up in the pit of his stomach. It reminded him too much of a winter mission on a train, and the loss of his other half. _

_He was pulled from those thoughts by whirl of machinery that usually accompanied the doom bots. They sounded nothing like the quiet elegant Stark machinery; they were loud and clunky, gears and metals grinding together in a ear splitting chorus. He tensed. _

_The adrenaline started working its way through his system, his grip on his shield intensifying and he started to map out various trajectories for the use of his shield. _

_Without any command from him the light device sped ahead, illuminating much further in front of him. He almost wished it had stayed at his side. It revealed exactly what he'd been dreading, a small army of doom bots. God, if these were the strays, what the hell was waiting for them in the main tunnel. _

_He wasn't sure who moved first, but next thing he was aware of he was pulling a doom bot towards him as he stabbed down with his shield, effectively decapitating it. Without a pause he dropped its body, and brought this shield up to block another blow, and shoved upwards, knocking the bot off balance. He followed up with a devastating punch through its stomach. He pulled his arm out, ignoring the bite of the steel into his flesh. _

_He bit back a groan; one of them had gotten behind him, and delivered one hell of a blow to his ribs. Not that it mattered, he'd heal, but he didn't need anyone worrying about him. He leapt to the side, diving into a roll, and regaining his feet on the opposite side of the tunnel. The space gave him enough time to assess his opponents. There were five of them, and with the ease he'd dispatched the others, he doubted it would take long to take care of these. _

_HE didn't give them time to formulate an effective strategy, just hurled his shield at the wall. It rebounded, with a resounding thud one of the bots fell, and his shield slid into his palms as he rushed the remaining bots. _

_He couldn't be sure how long the battle lasted, but he let out a sigh of relief when the last bot fell to the floor. IT wasn't so much that it was a challenge taking them out, just that it was time consuming and as he had no one to watch his back, he was more likely to be surrounded._

"_Glad that's over," He sighed, cracking his back, hoisting his shield back into his arms, and continued down the tunnel. From his estimations he was almost to the end, just another 3,000 feet or so to go. Hopefully he wouldn't run into too much trouble. _

"_How're you all holding up?" _

"_We haven't sustained any damage, and we're about to clear out tunnel." Natasha's voice eased out of his com, despite the static he could still make out the cool, professional edge her voice always carried. "Widow out" _

"_All's good in tunnel one," Clint's voice crackled and broke but Steve still got the message. _

"_Copy that Hawkeye." _

"_Catch you on the flip side, Captain." _

_Steve couldn't help the smile on his face, Clint reminded him so much of Bucky. So much it hurt. Still, he was glad everyone was okay. He didn't need any more blood on his hands. _

_He was almost to the end of the tunnel, when lumie –he'd started calling his lighting thingerbob that, made him feel not quite so alone down here- rushed forward, and his stomach dropped. The doom bot turned to face him, it was crouching over an all too familiar object, its empty eyes staring blankly up at him. He'd seen enough bombs during the war. They always accompanied blood, and screams. So many blank faces staring up at him, haunting him whenever he closed his eyes. God, how he hated bombs. _

_The quiet whirl lumie admittedly shook him from his thoughts, just in time for him to bring up his shield, blocking the blow meant for his face. With a cry he thrust upwards with all his might, effectively throwing the bot into the opposite wall. He was on it before it had time to move, crushing its skull with a cool efficiency. _

_People may think he was pure and innocent, but he'd been in a war. It was impossible to maintain those things in war. Too much blood, too many bullets put in too many bodies. Far too many horrors and death to be innocent. But even he can admit he puts on a good front. Always a gentlemen, always a smile and a blush for the ladies. He'd gotten past that a long time ago; around the time he'd lost the only two people he'd ever loved. But he was Captain America, always the man with the plan, no red to stain his ledger. If only they knew. _

_He left the doom bot crumpled on the floor, and moved to crouch in front of the bomb. He took a deep breath to center himself, he could do this, I mean how hard could it be? _

"_Cap', everyone's here, do you want us to wait for you?" Bruce's calm voice was like a balm on his blistering wounds. _

"_No, tell everyone to go on a head, I just have a few stragglers to take care of, and I'll meet you up there, okay?" _

"_Are you sure Steve?" Bruce asked again. IT felt so good to be Steve, even if only for a second, it just felt good. _

"_I'm sure Bruce, don't worry about me, I can handle this." _

"_Alright, we're heading into the tunnel now." _

_Steve didn't reply, instead focused his attention on the bomb laying innocently in front of him. Ironic almost, how harmless it looked. He turned it over, ignoring the front and searching for the tell-tale crease Howard had showed him shortly after they met. It was important for a soldier like him to know such things; at least that was what Howard always said. _

_He found the crease that indicated the panel was present, and with hardly any effort pulled it way to reveal the wiring beneath it. _

A burst of fire, and blossoming pain and heaviness pulled him into the present. _Guess the bomb went off,_ he thought to himself as everything went black and he was pulled under the weight of pain and despair.

Natasha had just disposed of another one of Doom's worthless robots when the ground started to shake, and the cave rumbled with the force of an explosion. She dropped to a crouch covering her head, not that it would do much if the cave crumbled above them. Even widows give into base instincts sometimes.

It seemed like ages had past when the rumbling finally stopped, though she knew it had only been five minutes and 13 seconds, she'd been counting. The doom bots crumbled to the ground, like puppets whose strings had been cut. She choose not to question it, instead looked around to check on her teammates. She barely forced down the sigh of relief when she took in the relatively unharmed bodies of Thor, Tony, Clint and the bulging green body of the Hulk.

That was when it hit her, Stev-Captain America, wasn't with them. Her eyes connected with the others, and she knew that they too had realized they were missing a key component.

She raised her hand to her com, pressing lightly to ensure the clarity of her hearing, "Captain, do you copy?"

She forced herself to remain calm when all that came back was static.

"Captain, do you copy?" She asked again, her voice powerful and commanding.

This time she couldn't stop the dread creeping up her spine when she was met once more with static.

"Cap-Steve, Steve, do you copy?" If she was asked later, she'd deny that her voice shook or that concern bled into her eyes.

All she got back was static. Just static.


	6. Chapter 6

He barely stopped himself from screaming, biting into his bottom lip until the hot, coppery blood slid into his mouth and slithered down his throat. The taste made him shutter as his stomach rebelled against it, but at least it distracted him from the pain. It feels as if the entire world was pressing against his body. Punishing him for his many mistakes with its unyielding force. It was nearly unbearable.

He tried to take a running inventory of his injuries. It was far easier than he liked to detach himself from the situation and calmly take everything in. From the blast itself, he could feel shrapnel buried deep in his stomach. The sharp edges of the metal cut into his abdomen, sticky blood flowed steadily from the open wound. He tried to move his arms to staunch the blood flow, but neither responded. Both were trapped under the weight of the rock that had collapsed on top of him when the bomb went off. He was pretty sure that both were broken -so they would have been useless anyways- but he couldn't see them. So it was impossible to tell.

That was when he realized he couldn't see anything. His eyes were open but he saw nothing. Total and complete darkness surrounded him.

It's terrifying to realize that he couldn't see. He was an artist, colors, light and shadows drove him. He couldn't see any of those. He couldn't see anything. Just darkness. It was almost a tangible thing, thick and heavy all around him.

Then he noticed the silence. He never knew how oppressive it could be in a place like this. Even his own breath seemed muted, barely even registering to his sensitive ears. He used his exceptional hearing, searching out even the faintest noise but nothing. Absolutely nothing. Steve never thought he'd miss Tony ramblings but suddenly he craved the sound of Tony's bitter taunts. It would be something.

He wondered how long he could take this, being surrounded by this complete absence of sight and sound. The only thing keeping him company were his own injuries and the cold that slowly spread throughout his body as the blood leaked out his various injuries.

How he hated the cold.

After a while, he couldn't tell how long, but it seemed like an eternity, his eyes began to grow heavy. His lids fluttering as he tried to resist sleeps weighted arms. Even he couldn't fight her siren call for long, and soon his eyes sealed shut and he was surrounded by darkness not unlike the one he'd seen when his eyes opened.

For a while it was just emptiness accompanying him as he slept, but he knew it wouldn't last long. They always came for him. The nightmares, the shades that followed him relentlessly, hounding every waking moment but always waiting to deliver the killing blow until sleep claimed him and he could no longer escape them.

"_Cap, what are you doing?" His eyes shot up to meet Tony's confused face. He was wearing the iron man suit, and boy had it been through the ringer. It appeared he'd lost his face plate somewhere along the way. _

"_Cap, you with us?" Steve nodded, unable to open his mouth to form the simple reply. _

"_Good, we were worried they'd gotten you with that last hit. Fucking aliens, makes you wish you could go back to the simple days, doesn't it?" _

_Steve didn't reply, but he wanted to ask Tony "What simple days?" He'd take this over the war any day but he kept his mouth shut. _

"_Come on, we've got citizens to save, unless you aren't up for it old man?" Steve wanted to laugh but he couldn't force the sound from his throat. He tried again to ask Tony something, anything, but he couldn't get his body to comply. _

_Tony didn't seem to notice anything was wrong. Steve let himself be pulled up, they didn't have time for this, or at least so Tony said. Apparently when the world was in peril everything else could wait. Something Steve understood well enough. He'd told himself to wait to tell Bucky how he felt, to wait until the war was over and the world was safe. He waited on a lot of things. _

_Before he knew it Tony was dropping him off in the middle of the chaos he assumed was New York, but he couldn't tell with all the debris and the Chitari swarming every inch of available ground. As Tony started to zoom back into the sky he realized he didn't have his shield with him, and the Chitari near him were approaching, their strange weapons aimed directly at him. _

_Tony seemed to realize it at the exact moment he did, and raised his hands to blast the Chitari away from him until he could find a suitable replacement for his shield. Steve glanced up, and saw a pair of Chitari zooming towards Tony on their odd hovercraft vehicles. _

"_Tony watch out!" he screamed, holding his hands out as if he could stop the blows from coming. Horror welled up inside of him, Tony's face was melting away and Howards was growing in his place. His confused and terrified eyes meeting Steve's right as the Chitari fired a shot straight through his abdomen. _

_Howard's arms shot out but he couldn't work the suit, not like Tony, and he started to fall. Steve ran, barely catching him before he hit the ground. HE didn't understand how this had happened. Howard wasn't supposed to be here. He was dead. _

"_Steve…" Howard's voice rasped, the light fading from his eyes. _

"_Howard no, no you can't die like this, I just got you back," he whispered, desperation leaking into his voice as he pressed his hands against the gaping hole in his abdomen, trying to stop the blood gushing out. But it was like trying to stop a river with a pebble. _

_He felt Howard go limp in his arms, the Iron Man suit looked wrong on him, swallowing every ounce of Howards charm in its cold metal depths. _

_Where had Tony gone? He looked up, searching for the others, with his enhanced vision he should be able to see them. Where were they? _

_Then he spotted a flash of crimson about 600 yards in front of him, Natasha he assumed, and she was surrounded. He didn't have time to stay here with Howard, his team needed him, and just like in the war they had to leave the bodies where they fell. There wasn't time for funerals. _

_He put Howard down gently, before he stood, sealing away his emotions and racing towards Natasha. As he got closer he could make her out clearly among the Chitari warriors, and he saw that Clint was at her side. Both of them were fighting with everything they had. He didn't take the time to question why Clint was on the ground when he should be up on a roof somewhere taking out the enemy from above. _

_In battle things happened, and all he could do was react. "Natasha, Clint," He screamed, punching and kicking with all his might trying to clear a path to them. Up close he could see the blood pouring down the side of her face, and cuts lining both of their faces. _

_God, how he wished he hadn't called their names. They both turned simultaneously, eyes wide as they took him in and then just like Tony their faces began to disappear. To change. Natasha's crimson red hair slowly faded into a deep chestnut brown and her eyes changed from forest green to deep amber. Red lips curling up in a smile as Peggy gazed at him. _

_Clint's transformation was much quicker, his face literally there one second and gone the next, almost like Schmitt's when he pulled off his skin to reveal the red skull hidden beneath. And between one blink and the next he was replaced by Steve's only true friend, Bucky. _

_He could barely fight back his glee, despite his new friend's disappearance he could only see two of the people he longed for most in his heart. Of course, he should have known it wouldn't last. He'd distracted them, and they both dropped their guard, unable to keep the grins off their faces as their mouths opened, his name falling from their lips. _

_The sound never escaped though, and Steve watched in horror as one of the Chitari warriors grasped Peggy by the hair, pulling her head back to reveal her long, elegant throat. She didn't even have the time to panic before a blade slid across her throat. Trails of red followed its quick journey across her creamy white skin. _

_Bucky's death came just as quick. One second he was opening his mouth and the next his lips were forming a wide 'O' as a blade emerged from the center of his chest. Not unlike Phil Coulson._

_Steve fought with renewed vigor, but the crowd between them only grew thicker. He watched their bodies fall to the ground and somehow he was able to hear the sickening plop when they collided with concrete. _

_He felt something break deep within him; all he wanted to do was see them again. Why was that so wrong? Why? _

_He was surrounded, blows raining down from every side, and he was being beaten down. He blinked and the ground was there, catching him. He turned his head and he was met with the blank stares of Peggy and Bucky, and Howard. How had he gotten there? _

_Their voices filled his ears, even as he drew his hands over his ears to drown them out. _

"_Why didn't you save us Steve?" they asked, their empty stares mocking him. It was like watching a puppet show, as they rose, limbs jerking as they crawled towards him. The Chitari had vanished, but he didn't give it much thought. _

"_How could you abandon us? We needed you, aren't we your friends?" They're voices sounded wrong, sick and twisted lifeless versions of the voices he used to know. _

"_I'm so sorry, I tried, I tried," he choked out, tears streaming down his face even as he tried and failed to get up. _

_They drew closer, until the blood leaking from their wounds was dripping onto his face. They towered over him, their faces far too large, taking up all the space around him. They were leaning down, their faces seemingly meshing together, "Steve, why didn't you save us? Why did you replace us with those people?" They spat out the words as if they were poison in their mouths. _

"_I didn't replace you, I didn't." He swore, he tried to close his eyes, to block out their faces but he found that he couldn't. _

"_Didn't you though?" they screeched, their faces suddenly alight with anger. It was terrifying. "You made them all up, didn't you? Tired of dreaming of us in the ice, Steve, was that it? We weren't good enough for you anymore?" _

"_I don't know what you're talking about. Please, just leave me alone, please!" God, this couldn't be real, it couldn't be. _

"_So Tony, my son," Howard's voice was bitter as he spat out the word, "wasn't a replacement for me? Pathetic attempt if you ask me." _

"_Tony isn't pathetic," the words left his mouth before he could stop himself. _

"_Are you defending him?" He sounded incredulous, "That pretender? Don't forget it was you who selfishly abandoned us, you could have found another way, but you had to be a hero, didn't you? Did you even think about what was going to happen to us when you did it? Guilt doesn't give you an excuse."_

"_He's real, Tony and the other's they're real!" Steve didn't understand why this was happening. He wasn't trying to replace them, they weren't replaceable. Why didn't they understand that?_

"_So, Natasha isn't just the newest model? A strong, independent woman, capable of holding her own in a world dominated by men, sounds familiar doesn't it?" Peggy's voice sent shivers up his spine, and every time she spoke the gash in her throat opened wider, more blood leaking out. _

"_It was just a coincidence, there are woman like that everywhere now, I swear." Steve tried to reason, but Peggy didn't seem to understand. _

"_Oh, so I'm just a dime a dozen then, is that what you're saying? Guess you really didn't need much time to find a dance partner." She paused, a delicate fingers coming up to tap her chin, "Wasn't I enough Steve? Hm, why did you need some pretty red-head substitution? IT'S your fault you lost us. You chose to take a nose dive into the ice and it's time to realize that you deserve to be here." _

"_I know, I know I deserve to be back there but I'm not, I'm not! I'm back in the world again and I'm just trying to make-up for all the mistakes I made" Steve tried not to let doubt enter his mind; his rational mind knew that he wasn't in the ice anymore but it didn't matter. Not anymore._

"_Is that what you tell yourself, Steve? When you think about me? Thanks to you I was left to die in ice, because __**you**__ couldn't save me." Bucky's voice was like a stab straight through his heart. _

"_Bucky, I'm sorry, I tried, I tried to save you but you fell-" _

"_I didn't fall, you let me fall, there's a difference Steve, and Clint isn't going to change that. Funny, how you manage to find another handsome, cocky sniper to fit the bill so soon after you 'woke-up', isn't it?" _

_Steve opened his mouth to reply but they moved faster than he thought possible. Hands were tearing at his body, vengeful eyes never leaving his even as they tore at his flesh, breaking his bone with pale fingers. They're bodies started to decompose, maggots replacing eyes and teeth blackening as cracked lips pulled away to reveal them. _

"_Why didn't you save us? Why weren't we enough? We thought you cared…" Over and over their words rang in his head, until he could hear nothing else, feel nothing else. Even the pain they inflicted was nothing compared to the painful stab of their words. _

Steve choked, opening his eyes, despite the lack of light, he felt stone cold relief. It had all been a dream, a hallucination brought on by his pain ridden imagination. But it had felt so real. They had seemed so real. So very, very real.

He could feel the ash settling in his throat, he understood why he'd been choking. It must be dust from the explosion but it tasted just like ash. He felt sweat gathering on his upper lip, the ash, there was always ash after a battle. Falling from the sky like gray snow, covering bodies, invading trenches and corrupting the pure white blanketing the untouched ground.

He was shaking, or maybe there had been another explosion. He couldn't see anything but suddenly he could see and feel everything.

The bombs, the shake of the earth as each one made impact, throwing up dirty, dust and ash. Always ash. The eyes of shell shocked soldiers staring up at him, unseeing, heavy with the weight of war. Tony had told him they called it PTSD now-a-days. Steve didn't like that. Sounded too clinical, like some man sitting in an office came up with. While the boys and girls out on the front line suffered.

That was what bothered him about this world he'd woken up in; it was so cold and clinical. As if everything and everyone could be classified and placed in a neat little box. He hated it.

Private First Class Dansfield, or as Steve and the commandoes called him, Johnny boy. He'd been young. Young even by their standards, at fifteen, but back then a lotta boys lied about their age to fight. They were all chasing the glory and spoils of war. Most of 'em found out real quick that there was no glory to be found in this particular hell. Just bullets and blood. The kind of blood you couldn't wash away. The kind that slowly coated every inch of you until you looked at yourself and all you saw was red.

Johnny boy had the brightest green eyes, almost greener than him. Steve would never forget the night after his first battle with them. The way all the light in those eyes faded, and vanished. Replaced with that same unseeing, blank look Steve had seen time and time again. He'd begun to hate that look. Hate how it was him leading these kids into battle. He felt responsible each time he saw eyes like those, and they haunted him. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw them, watching him as the bombs went off in the background and the screams of dying soldiers sprang up all around him.

But Johnny boy, his eyes, his eyes haunted him even in his waking hours, because Steve had failed to stop him. Failed to save him really. What good was Captain America, when he couldn't even save his own boys?

_It was cold, so very cold in the woods. His spangled outfit wasn't much protection against the European winters. Even his custom boots barely kept the cold out, and he'd traded them a long time ago. He didn't understand how the government could let them out here with barely enough clothes to keep em warm in a New York autumn, let alone this kind of weather. _

_He turned to Bucky, "I'm not picking up anything, you sure this is where they said the base was?" At first it had been easy, tracking down the Hydra bases on the map he saw, but they'd torn through those quick enough and more just kept popping up. Sometimes they got good leads but sometimes, just like now, they got nothing. _

_Bucky's reply was drowned out by the first bomb. It impacted to the left of them, creating a huge crater as it blew away earth and a few soldiers who'd been there mere seconds ago. His ears were ringing. People were screaming but he could barely hear them. He looked up, raising his own voice to the chorus of voices, "TAKE COVER." _

_He gestured for the boys around him to find cover, turning to ensure that Bucky was already moving before he darted towards the rest of his company. They'd taken shelter a few 100 yards behind him and the commandos. Except for those unlucky few who'd stuck close. The first bomb had taken them out quick enough. _

_His legs were pumping, and he could see them right in front of him scrambling to find cover. He can hear the sirens starting in the background but they're far too late. Another explosion turns his world upside down, and he finds himself much closer to the ground than he had been, as more bombs rain down around him. The sound is distorted, and the ringing in his ears grew louder. _

_He struggles to get up. He has to get to them. HE has to save them, he brought them here. He has to save them. He stumbles, braces himself on the broken remains of one of the slender but proud trees that littered the forests here. _

_Another bomb goes off a ways from him. He rolls to the ground to avoid the splinters. He learned quick enough that the splinters, and shrapnel were just as dangerous, if not more so, than the bombs themselves. _

_He starts to crawl, the snow is cold underneath him and the steam rises around him as bombs light up the night sky. He almost crawls over the first corpse; a large wooden splinter went straight through the boys neck. It was one of the rookies, a sweet boy named Danny. Boys like him weren't made for places like this. Steve forces himself to hold back the bile, lifting his fingers he closes the boy's eyes and keeps going. _

_He stumbles across a group of five huddles together. "Find cover," he shouts above the noise, but they're frozen, staring up at him with those frightening, unseeing eyes. God, how he hates those eyes. "Now!" he shouts again, grabbing the nearest boy and hauling him up. "GO" _

_They start moving, he doesn't know where they'll go but they have to move. He starts to follow them, only to look back when he realized one of them hadn't followed. It was Johnny boy, with those cold lifeless green eyes of his. He was two hundred feet behind them. How had he not noticed sooner? _

"_Go on." He called to the nearest boy, "I got him." They are quick to do as he says, he hopes they make it. _

_He'd just turned back to face Johnny boy, their eyes connecting as he remains frozen, when the whistle that accompanies another bomb screeches overhead. He tries to call out but he knows it's too late. _

_The impact sends him hurdling into a tree, and he loses consciousness for some time. When he awakens, the first thing he notices is the deadly calm that's settles around him. The bombs have stopped. That must have been what woke him. And the screaming, the screaming will start up soon. As if they heard him, they start, painful moans turning into full on screams as soldiers recognize their own pain. The wounded lay littered through the forest. Their agony bleeding into him. It's painful to listen to them. Most of them won't ever make it out of this forest. Their wounds are far too severe for treatment. _

_But right now, he can only focus on those eyes, watching him before the impact. He stumbled towards where he'd last seen Johnny boy. _

_He falls to his knees, pulling the boys head into his lap. He's missing most of his lower body, and his upper body is a charred broken mess. And those eyes, those empty green eyes are staring blankly up at him. _

_Steve could never decide if they were worse when he was alive or dead. Somehow they're both just as terrible. This time he doesn't fight the vomit, just turns his head and empties his stomach. He was done with this war. He was done with the death and the pain and the suffering. But it wasn't done with him. _

_He wasn't sure how long he sat there, but eventually he feels the weight of Bucky's hand on his shoulder. "Steve you have to let him go, he's gone." _

_It was only then he realized he'd been crying. _

"_Steve, let him go, you already failed him, there's nothing more you can do. You've failed us all." Bucky, Howard, Peggy, and a crowd of lifeless corpses sang the words at him. They're cool eyes regarding him with something he was loathe to call anything but hate._

_That didn't sound right, and Steve opened his mouth to protest, but he knew deep down that the words were true. Just another blinding failure to weigh on him at night, he wondered how many other failures he'd collected that day. _


	7. Chapter 7

_Hey guys _

_Chapter Seven, finally! _

_Hope everyone enjoys, and just wanted to make sure once again, that everyone is aware that Steve is trapped in a collapsed tunnel, experiencing absolute darkness (yes, that is a scientific term for the total lack of light found deep underground), and is hallucinating like CRAZY! _

_Lots of love, _

_Fallen _

As Steve woke with a jolt, red hot agony ripped through his torso and he opened eyes to see what was causing it. He couldn't move his head no matter how many times he tried, and even with his eyes open he saw nothing. Absolutely nothing.

He tried to move his arms or get his legs to respond but it felt as if they were frozen. Like thinking about it brought on his realization, he noticed how cold he'd become. It was the kind of cold he remembered, the kind of cold that made you question if you'd ever feel warmth again. It wrapped itself around his body like a lover, caressing and destroying him in the same breath.

He tried to remember how he'd gotten here, but all he could remember was confusion, a crash and then nothing. Just nothing. He wondered if anyone was looking for him, if it was Tony or Howard, Natasha or Peggy, Clint or Bucky looking for him. Was it 1943 or 2012? He wasn't sure, not anymore, not after everything. He'd seen them, heard what Peggy, Bucky, and Howard had said. Was this really all his imagination? Everything he'd experienced, surely it all couldn't be a lie.

He'd know if it was a dream, right?

He sighed and opened his eyes, for once not minding the absence of color and light. All he wanted was for someone to rescue him. Did it really matter what was true and what was a lie? If it really was just a dream, was that truly so bad? Didn't he have a right to be happy, even if it was just an illusion?

It was better than being here, frozen, helpless, and trapped in the darkness, fully aware but unable to call for help.

"Is that what you tell yourself Steve, when you let your imagination run wild? That it's better than where you are now?" The voice, one he knew better than his own, spoke, letting out a bitter laugh, "because you know what I think, _Steve, _I think you deserve every minute of this. EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN MINUTE OF THIS TORTURE! DO YOU HEAR ME? DO YOU STEVE? BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN GOOD!" He heard Bucky sigh, as if he was trying to collect himself, but Steve couldn't be sure. It was amazing how much seeing crippled you. Without it, he couldn't even read his best friend.

Maybe Natasha could help him when they rescued him. Or maybe not…

"You failed us, Steve; you failed every single one of us." Bucky almost sounded sad now, as if he regretted Steve's choices. "I wanted to believe in you, I mean, you were Captain America. The man with a Plan, and hell, at first they all worked out, didn't they? But that wasn't meant to last, was it? It started when we walk into that trap, I'll never forget the way that blood seeped into the snow that night, or the screams as the bombs blew people into smithereens. I thought you would learn your lesson, keep the rest of us safe, but you couldn't do that, could you Steve?"

Steve tried to reply, but his tongue was frozen against his lips. That didn't stop the tears from falling. Why were they doing this? Surely they knew that he never forgot, never, not even for a minute. Every single face, every name, stuck in his head, haunting him, but he still tried to move on because he had to. He was Captain America.

He wasn't allowed to give up.

"Captain America, don't make me laugh, Steve." Despite his words, laugh he did; it sounded hollow and harsh to Steve's ears, nothing like Bucky's laugh. His laugh was rich, with the faintest undertone of sarcasm. It was beautiful. "You're nothing special, just a stupid boy stuck in a fantasy."

"Did you think about me when you crashed into the water?" His voice was inches from Steve's ear, but his breath was icy cold. "Did you remember how I screamed when you let me fall? Tell me, did you really think you were going to save the world? Or were you just taking the coward's way out, just like you're doing now? Hm?"

The thing is, the last thing Steve thought about before he crashed wasn't Bucky or Peggy, it was pretty silly actually. He had wondered to himself whether or not he'd see his mother again, or if heaven was all make believe and there'd be nothing. After all, it's hard to believe in God when you've seen everything he'd seen.

Now he wished it had been heaven… but maybe this was hell, this never ending darkness; maybe they'd let him taste heaven. And now it was time for hell. It wasn't like he didn't deserve it; Bucky was right, he'd failed everyone and he'd let himself imagine that for a second he'd been saved. That the Avengers were real, that they might grow to love him and that he might find his place again.

God he was stupid.

"Any trace of him?" Natasha asked him. To anyone else she might sound heartless, as if she was asking out of necessity not out of caring, but Coulson knew her. He could see the fear in her eyes, and the worry marrying her beautiful face. He wished he had something better to tell her, something better to tell them.

"No, I'm sorry, we still haven't been able to locate his heat signature. We think he might be too deep for our scanner to reach. That, or he's lost enough blood that his heat signature is too weak to pick up; we can't be sure."

Silence greeted his words, and he took a second to look at the people surrounding him. The second the words left his mouth, Natasha had shut down, pulling on the perfect mask, taking all her pain and sealing it away inside of her. He wished he knew what to say, or do, to fix her, but there was only one way to do that. And he wasn't sure they were going to be bringing the Cap-no, Steve, back this time.

Clint and Bruce both looked away, their jaws tight and bodies tense. Bruce's eyes flashed green, but instead of anger, Coulson only saw sorrow; maybe the Hulk truly could feel more than anger. Steve had always thought so. Clint's eyes flashed to his and then to the nearest exit, as always he was fighting the urge to flee. He'd go somewhere high, somewhere where he could observe the world and try to understand things that were beyond understanding.

Thor simply looked confused, as if he didn't understand what Phil said; he might not, Phil couldn't be sure. But under the confusion, he thought he picked up the fear and worry that lurked in the background, as if the confusion was only another mask to hide his true feelings. He'd have to look into it later.

Tony was the most surprising. Phil had been expecting a mental break down or an outburst of frustration, a verbal berating for not doing enough, but he only got silence. Maybe Tony felt more for Steve than he had let on; there were too many maybe's in this scenario.

If there was one thing Phil hated, it as maybe's, they were open doors for mistakes. Mistakes are what get people killed.

Speaking of maybe's, his eyes jerked to the lithe figure in the corner, huddling in the shadows as if attempting to avoid notice. As if he felt Phil looking at him, Loki, the fallen prince of ASgard, raised his eyes to meet Phil's. Honestly, in the time he'd spent with him, Phil only felt pity for the broken man; he knew people rarely became villains because they wanted to. He doubted Loki was an exception for that; every fiber of the man's being screamed of torture, repression, and self-hatred.

He'd tried to hate him, for what he'd done to him, to Clint, and to so many innocent New Yorkers, but sometimes your only option was to forgive the one who hurt you the most. If you don't, who will?

"I might be able to help," Loki's wisp of a voice interrupted his analysis.

"Explain," his voice echoed through the room, though he never raised it, and when Loki hesitated he continued, "now."

Every member of the Avengers stared at the God, and he visibly shrunk further in to the shadows, but only for a second. Then he drew himself up, and stepped into the light, his pale green eyes flickering back and forth between them. "I know of a spell, one that could trace and retrieve, with but a token of the missings affection."

"Why didn't you tell us early, you sick bastard?" Clint asked, practically foaming at the mouth, "Did you think it was entertaining to watch us all meander around while Steve, our Steve, is trapped alone in that hell-hole?"

"Clint, enough," Phil told him, eyeing him until the man turned his head away defiantly. "Loki, please continue. We are open to any suggestions, but if you're lying, don't think you'll be forgiven. There's no such thing as a third chance, at least, not that I'm aware of."

Loki nodded, his gaze now glued to the floor, "It wasn't like that, archer, I simply knew that you would never accept my help, not unless all else had failed. Even now you doubt me, and wish to believe I want nothing more than to see more people suffer…" He trailed off, closing his eyes and ducking his head further into his chest, if that were possible.

"Please, brother, what is this spell? Can you do it without your powers?" Thor's voice sounded sickeningly hopeful. Phil wished he didn't know what it was like to wish so desperately for someone to change, to pray that they might turn from a path that only lead to despair.

"Yes, brother, I can perform it without my magicks, but I will need many supplies, and at least a day to fully prepare. Even then the chance of failure is high, and the risk of my death even higher." Loki shrugged, as if his life meant nothing, and maybe to him it didn't. "But it matters not, I will give you a list of what I need, and if I have your permission, I need to spend a day meditating alone. In this time, you should be able to gather the ingredient required."

Before anyone else could speak, Tony's voice broke the silence following Loki's words. "Give me the list, we'll get it done," he paused, surveying the room, "Steve, well, Steve, is worth the risk. I'd rather take a shot and get him back than turn my back and find his body in that god forsaken tunnel. He deserves more than that."

Any hesitation in the eyes of the others died, replaced by determination. They'd get him back, no matter what the cost.

He just wanted to die; he couldn't take any more of this torture, constantly being bombarded with images, nightmares, and whispers of them. He wasn't sure what was real anymore, and he wasn't sure he could handle that.

Which was worse he couldn't decide; being trapped in the ice all this time, and everything he'd witnessed this last year, being part of some sick fantasy, or having it all be real and having to accept, once again, that they were all dead, and worse: every single one of them hated him. He couldn't handle it. Maybe it would just be easier to give-up; to close his eyes and never, ever, wake up.

Maybe he'd just give it a try, all he had to do was close his eyes. Simple, right?

He was growing tired of being wrong, every fucking time. He probably deserved this, being stuck in another one of his visions, it's what he gets for giving up. It's like the General's used to tell him, "Son, your Captain America, you ain't got no time for tears or doubts. You got a job to do, now get it done."

"It's okay Steve, don't cry, we're just here to protect you. We love you, don't we boys?" Peggy's voice cooed, and Steve couldn't resist; he opened his eyes. But she was wrong, all wrong, red curls in the place of chestnut brown, a cat-suit instead of crisp military clothes, but most of all, Natasha's mask in place of her face.

"What's wrong soldier, don't like what you see?" Natasha-Peggy asked, her voices just like Peggy's, and the playful smirk, didn't quite match with her features. "I think he's in shock, what do you think boys?" Peggy-Natasha asked, turning to look at the faces of Tony and Clint.

"Well, Peggy, looks like my boy here is just confused, that's all, but that's what we're here for, right Howard?" This was all wrong, they were all wrong, Bucky's voice reached his ears but when he looked up all he saw was Clint. He couldn't tell which disappointed him more, not being able to see Bucky's face or not being able to hear Clint's voice.

"I'm sure he's just happy to see us; I mean, wouldn't you be if you were in his place?" Howard asked, his cocky, sure-fire tone bleeding out of Tony's lips. Steve could almost picture it, the crimson red words; oozing out of their lips.

"Come on Steve, get up, we have something to show you," Peggy said, her smile felt wrong on Natasha's face, fake. When he hesitated something dark flashed behind her eyes and she reached down to pull him up, "Now don't be shy, Steve, this is important."

Suddenly they all surrounded him, and he was tiny again, unable to fight against them as they dragged him before a floor length mirror. He refused to look; he didn't want to know what was waiting for him its hard reflective surface, he'd had enough of this endless torture. He just wanted it to end.

"Don't think it's going to be that easy, _Steve."_ Their voices were twisted again, anger and resentment leaking into their voices. "We're only giving you a taste of the pain you deserve. Didn't anyone ever tell you, the truth hurts, Steve." Their voices rang in his ears as they viciously forced his head upwards until he was staring in the mirror.

He'd always hated being so small, but never more than now. They towered over him, their arms locked tightly around his wrists and shoulders, their faces twisted and cold. He looked past it and locked eyes with his reflection. He wondered if he always looked this sad.

He could barely contain the sharp sound of confusion, as he watched his face slowly started to change, his figure growing taller, leaner, his blonde hair turning jet black and his baby blues turning into jade. The changes kept happening, until Steve was looking at Loki, his cruel green eyes locking onto Steve's.

"What's wrong Steve? Image problems?" Peggy asked as her face melted until there was nothing but a featureless face and plain lips left behind. Her hair was a mess, red and chestnut fighting for dominance, and her clothes contorted and twisted, leaving some blinding mix of modern and vintage.

He could barely hold back the bile building in his throat. "Yes, Steve, do tell," Loki's voice echoed, once again drawing his attention to the God. "Not a fan of me, Rogers? You should, after all, you created in your own image, I mean, come now, you didn't actually think anyone could be so similar to you? But I guess when you're desperate all you want is a kindred spirit to share your pain, your bone breaking agony, to understand when no one else could." Loki's smirk nearly split his face in two.

"Don't you see, Steve, everything you've known, it's a lie, something you created to escape, to hide from the truth of your fate. It's okay to cry, but it won't change a thing; you're weak, useless and you **DESERVE** it all!" Loki's spit sprayed against the mirror, or maybe it was his spit, he couldn't tell anymore.

"I always wondered how it must feel to be you, but then I remembered, I do, I know exactly what it's like, because I am you. I know what it's like to feel small, belittled at every turn, to be best friends and brothers with someone who everyone loved, to hide in the shadow of their greatness. I know what it's like to taste power, to fall as a direct result of one's own choices, and I know what it's like to wish with every fiber of your being you could take it all back. Didn't you ever think it was strange how much we shared?" Loki sneered, "Then again, probably not. I guess they weren't lying when they said all bronze and no brain, were they?"

"Please, stop, please," he whimpered, trying to turn his head away from Loki or to cover his ears. He didn't want to hear anymore. He didn't want to doubt everything.

"Where do you think you're going Steve?" Howards voice called, his face already blank, his and Tony's clothes, facial hair, and the like all battling for dominance. It was sickening to watch. The constant shifts, none of them quite matching up, like some sort of sick game of humptey-dumptey.

"Can't accept the truth, Steve, is that it?" they asked, each one bearing a sneer across their lips, but at least Loki had a face; the others were just empty skin with mouths. "Well, too bad, poor little Steve, we're going to make you."

He wasn't sure how long the nightmare replayed over and over again until he couldn't tell it from reality, but finally his eyes opened. Once again all he saw was darkness. All he felt was cold. Maybe it was time to accept the truth. Maybe.

The day felt like it dragged on forever, but finally the Avengers had gathered all the supplies Loki needed. Some things had been simple: a strand of Steve's hair, salt, and a basin of water, candles, spices and herbs. Other had been more difficult: the heart of newly birthed cow, the eye of a blind crow, and a token of Steve's affect. That one had taken them hours because none of them could decide what it should be. Until they found his old compass, the one with the picture of Peggy in it, and settled that besides Loki along with the rest of the supplies.

Loki ceased his meditation, opening his eyes to look at them, and a sense of calm settled about them. He looked ready, his body giving off the confidence he'd had before for the first time since his arrival, but without the edge of craziness that chased him before.

"First, I need you to create a circle with the salt; make sure you are all in it before the circle closes. I'll need energy from all of you, for without my magick I no longer have enough alone."

They worked silently, quickly creating a circle of salt around them before sitting in a circle around Loki. Each of them subconsciously mimicking his position and attempting to find their own center.

"Perfect, you've completed step two without my help, but before I start I need you to know that this will cause me intense pain, but I ask that no matter what happened, Do Not Open Your Eyes. Please, you cannot forget, least this all be in vain."

They all nodded, closing their eyes. "Now, I need each of you to concentrate on Steve; picture him as he is to you. When you have him in your mind, I need you to hold onto the image, even more so than keeping your eyes closed, you must not lose his image. If you do, we may very well lose him."

They all did as they were told, Natasha envisioning his sad smile, and the care in his eyes when he tended a wound she'd gotten in a battle following Loki's invasion. Clint pictured his boyish excitement when he got one of the movie references he threw out, and the emptiness in his eyes when he failed to save someone.

Bruce Banner, pictured Steve's unbridled compassion when he told him that he thought there was more to the Hulk than Bruce believed, and that he shouldn't give up because everything happened for a reason. As he pictured this, he wondered if Steve truly believed that, or if he had to in order to avoid completely breaking.

Tony pictured the first and only time he'd ever seen Steve really smile, his lips wide, just a hint of teeth showing and his eyes sparkling with life they rarely revealed. He couldn't remember what he'd said, but he wished he could, just to see that smile as more than a memory again. Thor, on the other hand, pictured Steve in battle, his fierce protectiveness and strength shining through, saving both his teammates and civilians even as his body took hit after hit. He never faltered though, because he knew he was needed and he never let them down.

Coulson just pictured his hero, the man who signed his bloody cards and a new pair he'd bought with money he could have used for something else. The man who'd sacrificed everything for his country and gotten so little back.

Loki just imagined how broken Steve was under everything else; he was broken, perhaps not beyond repair, but Loki could never be sure. When Loki believed everyone in the room was ready he began to prepare the spell, arranging each ingredient as it was needed, mixing some, using a mortal and pistol to turn others to dust, until everything was ready. Then he poured it in to the water and began to chant.

The others couldn't understand the language but it was beautiful, old and powerful, like some warrior God reawakened. Loki's voice continued to rise, though pain began to leak through his words and the smell of burning flesh serenaded their noses. Loki kept going and they kept their eyes closed, Steve's image clear in their heads, even as Loki stopped chanting and started to scream.

The smell of burning flesh intensified and something started to boil in front of them. The sound of water overflowing was a forerunner to the feel of liquid beating against them; it was too thick to be water. Natasha knew it was blood, but she pushed it to the back of her mind.

Loki continued to scream, though he began to chant again between each startling outburst of agony. Then as if it had never happened, it all disappeared and silence reigned between them.

They all waited, holding their breaths as the time ticked by; they'd begun to give up hope, when there was a loud pop, then the thump of a body hitting the ground. "Open your eyes, he will need your help," Loki's voice was faint but something like joy leaked through his tone. It had worked.

They opened their eyes and the happiness they'd felt for that moment faded the instant they laid eyes on their Captain, their Steve. He was a mess, barely even recognizable if not for the torn, bloody star on the middle of his chest. His shield lay some ways away, but they paid no attention to it, no one's eyes left the sight in front of them.

There was a gaping hole in his abdomen directly underneath the star, his organs laid open for their eyes, and it appeared half of his rib cage had collapsed. Who knows how many were broken or even worse, shattered inside of his body.

Both his legs were broken, but it appeared the knee on his left leg was completely crushed, and it didn't look like his hips had fared any better. His uniform was torn in multiple places and every inch of skin revealed to them that wasn't covered in dried or running blood was awash with purple and black bruises.

His hands appeared as if he'd never make another fist or hold a shield again, each bone shattered and twisted, charred flesh replaced his usually perfect skin making his hands resemble a charred twisted mess instead of the strong, commanding shapes they used to make. His elbow on his right arm appeared broken, and his arm was dislocated; unfortunately his right had fared no better, it was broken and his wrist appeared to be fractured and swollen, tiny cuts going all the way up his arm.

His face was covered in bruises and squished, no hint of his baby blues beneath the swollen and possibly broken cheekbones. They tried to hold in the terror they felt at seeing him in this condition, and finally someone broke the silence.

"Call medical, NOW! We need to get him there immediately," Coulson's voice boomed across the room, and suddenly everyone leapt to action, Thor gently picked the Captain up. While the others rushed around to make contact with various people to alert them of the Captain's condition.

Coulson let them work and moved to Loki's side; the trickster had yet to pick himself off the ground, nor had he unraveled himself from the ball his body had formed. "Don't think we'd forgotten you."

The God turned his face to look at Coulson, confusion clear on his features despite the pain that clearly racked his body. "You may not have won forgiveness, but this is a huge step in the right direction. We heard your screams, and smelt your flesh burning; you sacrificed much for someone who was your enemy only a few months ago. That is not something we take lightly here; remember, you aren't the only one in this room whose been given a second chance with their lives." With that Coulson gestured at Tony, who'd materialized at his side, "I need a hand getting him up."

"Still supposed to avoid heavy lifting?" Tony asked, trying to joke but it fell short. Together they lifted Loki, neither one of them commenting on how light he was. They silently agreed not to mention the quiet scream that tore from his lips when they touched him.

But at least they finally had their Captain back, right?


	8. To dispell any confusion

Hey ya'll,

As it appear that some people are still confused, I'm going to give one more go at trying to explain what's going on. During a mission, a bomb exploded underground leaving Steve extremely injured, and trapped under ground, being crushed by the debris from the explosion. While he was there, due to the continuous aggravation of his injuries, he was unable to heal himself (this is totally creative license by the way because I have no idea if he'd be able to heal in this circumstance or if his body would simply keep him from dying), and whenever he regained consciousness he experienced something called "absolute darkness" a scientific term for the absolute lack of light found underground in places like the one Steve is trapped in.

His mind was unable to take both the injuries, the absolute darkness (which will blind you in 7 days, and has been known to drive a normal person crazy, let alone a fucked-up, fatally wounded super-soldier), and thus it created hallucinations and delusions of Peggy, Howard, Bucky, and the others. It also brought back memories of Steve, and basically these delucions/hallucinations convinced Steve that he was still trapped in the ice and that everything he'd experienced upon "waking up" in the 21st century was made-up by him.

That's why I brought up the darkness and the cold so much, because it all fend into Steve's eventual belief that he really had made it all up. It's also why he so frequently had nightmares, ect. about Peggy, Howard, Bucky, Tony, Natasha and Clint becoming each other, because they are all so similar that it made it easier for him to start to believe that a totally illogical concept was possible.

Hopefully this has cleared up any questions any of you guys had, but if you are still feeling confused feel free to message me and I will do my best to further explain things.


End file.
